Scott H Young

Deciding What to Do With Your Life


What should you do with your life? I frequently notice many people my age (my eighteenth birthday was in August) and many people considerably older than that have a very hard time arriving at an answer to that question. Terrified to make the ‘wrong’ choice and get stuck into a life they hate, they wander around clueless of what they want to do.

Left without certainty of what to decide for their life, many people simply settle for what’s available at the time. Current job, current relationship, current direction of progress. Never satisfied with today they have no idea where they want their future to head. As a result these people end up spending most their life in a state of vague unhappiness.

Some people manage a little better. They set some goals, plan ahead and move into a position that seems okay, but life always feels like a compromise. A fine balance between security and adventure, duty and passion. Inevitably these people feel that somewhere along the road of life they took a wrong turn and are no longer where they want to be.

With all this pressure, it can be very hard to answer this question. How can you possibly decide how you want your entire life to be shaped? I think there is a way around this problem, but it requires a little more depth.

The Myth of Whole Life Decisions

The real problem isn’t that deciding what to do with your life is hard. It is the fact that deciding what to do with your entire life is a ridiculous question to ask in the first place!

You are not a fixed being. Every experience you have after this point will shape you. If you are like myself and you consciously pursue experiences that shape you in a positive direction, you will most often find that after a few years of this process your way of perceiving the world change drastically.

The reason that deciding what to do with your life is so difficult is simply that no decision would be adequate. Even if you had the perfect knowledge and foresight to predict what you would want at every stage of life, no one decision would satisfy everyone. If you are growing then you are changing. And if you change a lot, then decisions made in the past might not be the best for the future.

This is results in the myth of what I call making “whole life” decisions. These decisions include what your life’s purpose is, what you plan to do with your life, a life to-do list, or any other such decisions that encompass your entire life. The reason they are flawed is simply that if we look at a twenty, forty, sixty and eighty year old versions of yourself they may end up being so different that any one decision would be inadequate.

What to Do Instead?

Once you’ve come to the conclusion that trying to pick a single path for your entire life is ultimately futile, you need to start thinking about what you are going to do right now. Clearly making no decision about what to do is a bad move as you will simply drift in the waters of life, without direction or progress. But, if making these whole life decisions is so likely to result in a suboptimal answer somewhere along the road, how can you go about creating clarity about what you should do?

Looking where your purpose overlaps your passion lies the answer of what to do. Steve Pavlina breaks purpose down into four layers of what you need to do, what you have the skills to do, what you want to do and finally what you should do. The answer is fairly similar in deciding what you should do right now. It is where your needs, your abilities, your desires and ability to serve coincide.

What you need to do is what you need to do to survive. This means determining how you are going to make an income, buy food, stay healthy and ensure the survival and safety of your family. Without money and food on the table, all the hype about purpose and growth doesn’t seem all that important.

What you have the skills to do points to your areas of aptitude. If you are young, like myself, then maybe you have talents in areas that haven’t yet become full skills. This area determines where you have a better chance to fulfill yourself and society than other people. Chances are you have talents or skills in multiple areas.

What you want to do points to what you are passionate about. These are the things that you find enjoyable, like to do and find interesting. Everyone has there own interests and passions and this is the area that determines what you would enjoy doing.

What you should do points to where you can be of most service to others. Even if you fulfill needs, aptitudes and passion but what you are doing isn’t that useful to society, it will be difficult to feel fulfilled. Only when you combine all four areas and determine the place that they overlap most strongly can you actually decide what to do.

Set Long-Term Goals

Once you have searched the small area that decides your purpose you need to start setting long-term goals to motivate your progress. Unlike short-term goals which are there to provide motivation and focus, long-term goals are used to provide direction. Setting five, ten and even twenty year goals is the next step.

Keep in mind that the purpose of these goals isn’t necessarily that you will achieve them (just as it isn’t the direct purpose of any goal). As I previously mentioned, chances are your long term goals will slowly fall out of sync with who you are as you grow. Chances are you might need to change or adjust these goals before you ever achieve them.

A little over a year ago I set several five and ten year goals for myself. Although at the time these goals were very meaningful and motivating to me, I’ve slowly moved from them even in the short span of one year. I may end up removing, altering or changing those goals in a year or two as I shift even more.

This shifting occurs because as you grow and gain experience the overlapping region between what you need to do, can do, want to do and should do changes. Your initial plan was based on one set of regions which may very well change in the years that come.

Deciding What to Do Right Now

Ultimately, you can never make a decision in the future, only in the present. Deciding what to do for your entire life right now will never result in an optimal decision simply because you are constantly growing and circumstances will change. What you need to do instead is find out what is the best path for you to take right now.

There is a myth in our culture that tells us that because we have to change paths, that the time spent on the old path was a waste. That time spent working in one career before a career change was wasted. That time spent in one relationship before starting a new one was wasted. This is garbage. So long as you are always doing where purpose, aptitude, interest and need overlap, you are always doing the best you can, even if you eventually change your mind.

Don’t decide what you want to do with your entire life. Determine what you should do right now. Most of the beauty of life comes from the fact that you can never be exactly sure where the path will go. Set your long-term goals to give yourself a picture of a future, but when you outgrow that picture, don’t worry about it and create a new one. For you can’t live in tomorrow only ever live in today.


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11 Responses to “Deciding What to Do With Your Life”

  1. Slade says:

    “The reason that deciding what to do with your life is so difficult is simply that no decision would be adequate.”

    Finding your life purpose is a process of discovery – it unfurls. It is like driving cross-country at night – your headlights only reveal the next 20 feet in front of you at any given point. You don’t have to see the entire way at once to arrive at your destination.

    Very insightful article – for a writer of any age.

  2. Scott Young says:

    Slade,

    Very true, but I’d also argue that your life purpose isn’t a fixed constant for your entire life. It may be, but it could also change as you do.

  3. […] Deciding What to Do With Your Life Even if you had the perfect knowledge and foresight to predict what you would want at every stage of life, no one decision would satisfy everyone. If you are growing then you are changing. And if you change a lot, then decisions made in …Read more: here […]

  4. Michal says:

    Hello Scott!

    Thanks for the very clever post. Just as you’ve written about wasting time, people tend to regret doing something and wonder why they didn’t change their direction much earlier. The truth is that, they wouldn’t be able to see they want a change, without doing what they consider a waste of time. Whithout this experience they wouldn’t have grown to the point of change. There is no waste of time as long as we participate in what we do consciously, even if it seems to be wrong it still helps us to develope and make a decision to change. That’s my point :). Sorry for my english if it’s unclear :)

  5. Scott Young says:

    Michal,

    Great points. My point in the article focused that your life’s purpose is constantly evolving. What your purpose is right now, you may not have had the talent, desire, skill or ability to fulfill your needs through it beforehand. Looking at someone like Steve Pavlina, who started in the computer games industry and moved to self-help, you have to appreciate that making games may have been his best suited purpose originally, and as he grew, so did his purpose.

  6. Ciaran McKenna says:

    I loved it, i really believe this article changed my life, I now can follow the love of my life Una McNaughton, and shape my life for the better

    Thanks

  7. Katherine Kearney says:

    Thank you so so much scott, i finally built up the courage to tell my parents of my true sexuality…Lesbian and proud

    Thank you

  8. Scott Young says:

    Katherine, that’s great! I know it can be hard to reveal to close friends/family that you are a different person than they had previously understood, but over time, it’s usually a harder thing to sustain their confusion.
    -Scott

  9. Ryan says:

    I read about this stuff, and I agree, but in life I feel like you need certain things to keep you motivated to work and keep on going. Without love and family and friends, no job is worth it. I’ve been stuck in a rut for soooo long that I’m ready to crack. People always telling me what I should do, but when I do it, I lose interest immediately. Sometimes I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning. I have goals, but sometimes they just seem so difficult to reach, that I just stop trying. I have talents in different areas. I am a pretty good artist, and right now i’m contemplating starting a lawn care business. Am I excited and passionate about cutting lawns? no of course not…but in this life you need to make a living, and sometimes what you may be good at doesn’t always work out. Bills have to be paid. I guess I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’d love to feel passion about my job…but I have 0 clue on what it is I want to do. I’ve spent countless years in school, and I’m just sick of it. Any advice you may have helps? I mean…How did you figure out what to do?

  10. Ram says:

    What can I say? You say that the knowledge required to think about the big picture is too vast that we cannot consciously decide about it. But then, you also say that we can cut around it by deciding our passion,needs, abilities and purpose. In terms of purpose and needs, they seem to be objective: Help people; Pay the bills. Passion and Abilities are the variable factors here. And of course, they both are inter-related. I see that our passions and abilities change over time depending on what we are able to accomplish. Let me take a scenario where a person has good complete knowledge of his abilities but has not realized his passions. Then that goal he is going to set might be too late for him to achieve because of needs. So, he has to settle for lesser goals. And obviously this would make him unfulfilled. The society has put a very narrow line for what one could do in their lives. The society basically is purely about survival. It is not based on fulfillment. So, this naturally creates an inner conflict. And that is why there has never been a person who left the world with fulfillment. So, to be rational about this, it’s time we can learn about this and try to leave the society. Because, society seems to be a very strong outer force out of our control. Sorry to be pessimistic but this is what life in society is all about.

Debate is fine, flaming is not. Pretend that this comment form is a discussion taking place in my house. That means I enjoy constructive criticism and polite suggestions. Personal attacks, insults and all-purpose nastiness will be removed especially if it is directed at other readers.

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