Absolute Decision

Entry added on Wed, December 13, 2006

.

I believe that most of the limitations we encounter in our life don’t exist out there in the world, but in between our ears. Our mind creates most of the limitations for us. Conversely, it can be our greatest source of power. When you understand your own mind and know how to use it, you have the most powerful force in the world.

Problems aren’t distinct from you. They don’t exist out there. The universe is neutral. Reality is interpreted through your own mind. Most of the work in solving truly difficult problems is in removing the obstacles in your mind, not in the world. When you have fully removed your mental barriers, physical ones seem insignificant.

Have you ever had a time when you were faced with a very difficult problem? Maybe this was debt. Poor health. Loneliness and disconnect from others in the world. At times it may have seemed like these problems were impossible to overcome.

But now I want you to look back. Did you honestly do everything you could to fix the problem? Were you able to confidently create a plan and execute it to the fullest of your abilities? For most people the answer to both those questions is no.

Why didn’t you? The answer is rather simple. Because the barriers in the world aren’t your biggest challenge. The barriers in your head are. When these barriers are overcome, the barriers in the world seem to melt away. Impossible challenges suddenly form a clear path to solution. Even those situations that cannot be change can be transformed so you can accept and be happy with them.

Life is constantly testing you. Are you committed? Are all your mental resources focused completely towards success? When continuous problems arise in your life and challenges seem insurmountable, it can be very difficult to continue. Look with depth into the problem and you may very well find that this is just a test from the universe, and the problem only existed in your head.

Whenever you encounter one of these tests from the universe, your first step is to make an absolute decision. So few people ever make a real decision in their entire lives. A decision free of doubt and uneasiness. A decision where the entirety of the mind is committed to it.

When you try to make an absolute decision, do you feel uneasy? This unease is the first symptom of your own psychological barriers that keep you from succeeding. When you find yourself unable to make a firm, unshakable decision this shows the true barrier that stops you. Fear.

Fear is healthy. Most of the time it keeps us functioning normally within society. Psychopaths often feel little or no anxiety. Fear keeps us from doing things that might otherwise cause us pain. I would feel fear if someone pointed a gun at my head. This is a natural, instinctive reaction towards any dire threat. If I didn’t have this fear I might get shot.

Some fear is irrational fears of the moment, such as public speaking or heights. These phobias can produce intense feelings in situations that logically are completely safe. This is not the kind of fear I am referring to. This kind of fear can be tackled with a combination of desensitization and will as I outlined in this article.

No. The kind of fear I am referring to is the fears that plague your ability to use all of your power. These fears gain there strength from being unknown. Once you can uncover them, you can disarm them. These fears are closer to doubts or uncertainties.

These fears sit with you day in day out. They often don’t paralyze you like public speaking might and generally your heart won’t pound or your palms sweat. They just lie there, clawing at the back of your mind. They suck your power away.

If you are failing to start up your business to where you want it to be, these doubts could be one of the major forces holding you back from doing your best. Maybe your doubts are that your service isn’t valuable? Maybe the fear is what would happen if you were truly successful? Maybe the fear is that you might end up poor?

When you start uncovering these fears you start to realize that some of them are ridiculous. Others are legitimate. Like a boogeyman in your closet, these fears lose all there power when you turn the lights on. Go through them systematically and reveal them.

Your legitimate fears you will just have to accept as a possible consequence. If going broke is a possible consequence of running your business you will just have to accept that if your really want to run your business. When you decide to accept something as a potential consequence, it stops draining resources away from your mind.

Acceptance of a fear turns it into something else, a consequence. If going out and meeting people might mean rejection, humiliation or embarrassment, then those become consequences not fears. If you accept that as a cost you must pay, you can move forward with your decision.

When you’ve thrust these boogeymen out of your closet and tallied it up, the benefits of pursuing your goal usually far outweigh the consequences. Starting a business might mean going broke, but it can also mean autonomy and financial freedom. Meeting people might mean rejection but it could also mean love and acceptance.

Keep doing this process of uncovering fears until you can make an absolute decision. One where there is no uncertainty at all in your mind that you are going to put every single piece of resource you have into taking action.

When you’ve created an absolute decision, something wonderful happens. No longer do you feel worried or uncertain about taking action. You simply understand the costs and benefits. You will take action.

When I first moved to University several months ago, I made an absolute decision in my own mind to create a strong group of friends and take advantage of new opportunities. My decision was so strong and so vivid that it compelled me. I removed any of my fears and doubts and accepted them as consequences.

It was amazing how fast and easy the process was after that point. In several days I met hundreds of new people. Making the decision was truly the hardest part. Actually carrying out that decision was much easier.

Many times you will still fail after making an absolute decision because you didn’t plan your approach correctly. But when you have committed yourself, that no longer matters and you simply rework your plan and try again. Planning and review are complementary processes necessary to take action, but they are only minor details compared with the underlying decision.


Subscribe to Scott H Young

Meet-Up With David Zinger

Entry added on Tue, December 12, 2006

.

I recently had a chance to meet my first person in real life directly via this blog. This past Monday I got a chance to meet David Zinger a fellow Winnipeg blogger. Although I’ve corresponded with numerous people online through this blog, this was the first chance I’ve had to get a face to face meeting.

David Zinger

David first contacted me through a comment on my contact form offering a meeting if I was ever in the area. Since I recently moved to Winnipeg, I contacted him and arranged for lunch. David is a fellow blogger with his leadership and humor blogs.

The lunch went great and we both had a lot to talk about. David is a professional speaker on the subjects of leadership and employee engagement. He used to work at the University of Manitoba where I am currently enrolled and did his thesis on using humor.

Over lunch we discussed various topics such as blogging, public speaking, and business. A couple thoughts came up from our meeting that I felt were worthwhile to share.

Networking and Socializing

One of the topics that came up during our meeting was that of networking. David offered that this meeting itself could be seen as a form of networking. I hadn’t thought about it that way but instead as just meeting a new person.

I feel that having the right attitude when you go about networking is incredibly important. Some people easily amass a huge amount of positive relationships where there is a deep level of trust, while others are lone wolves that try to make due with just a few. I think the biggest difference between these two people is mostly in the attitude towards other people.

Instead of networking I like to see it as socializing. The people with the largest amount of personal contacts are those who actually enjoy meeting new people. I love meeting new people and see each encounter as an opportunity. The people that don’t socialize for immediate gain but just because they find people interesting are the ones with the most contacts, acquaintances and friends.

More Than One Option

Another random idea I took home from our conversation was the simple reinforcement that there are multiple ways of looking at every issue and, quite often, multiple solutions. I always enjoy it when someone offers another possible viewpoint during a conversation. It is easy to get caught up in just one perspective in things that you forget to see things in different ways.

Whenever you view this blog entry or any other piece of information, remember that is just one out of an almost infinite amount of perspectives. Perhaps that is a useful perspective or it might not be. Collecting multiple perspectives gives you a backup when an old one fails you.

Positivity of People

Unfortunately due to some things that had come up on Sunday night and carried over to Monday morning I wasn’t in the brightest of moods approaching my meeting with David. I managed to use all the emotional mastery techniques I’ve described here to try to not let any of that show through in our interaction. But once the conversation picked up a positive energy I immediately found my mood brightening and left feeling great.

Collecting positive people to be around is important because moods are wildly contagious. When you get into a bad state, the collective mood of the people around you can either amplify or alleviate that feeling. One of the great benefits I have found through this blog is the amazing amount of positive people I have met, even if only through e-mail.

If you are trying to find more positive people for your life the first place to start is to put a positive energy into your relationships to begin with. The world is a mirror and you can only get out what you put in. Try to put a positive attitude into all your interactions and you will begin seeing it reflecting when something gets you down.

Thanks for the lunch, David I look forward to meeting you again soon. And this goes out as another invite for any other of my readers who happens to be in the Winnipeg area and would like to meet up for some great conversation and to see a new face.

David works as a professional speaker and writes with his leadership blog and his (very funny) humor blog.


Subscribe to Scott H Young

« Previous entries · Next entries »