My advice really isn’t to “ride through” your emotions. Respecting your state is the first step to emotional control because you are simply observing what you are feeling right now. It is acknowledging the truth of the situation. From that truth you can begin to use all the other emotional master techniques that Tony, Steve or myself have offered.

I have noticed a shift in myself towards complete happiness, but it is less a shift in circumstances then in perception. When you finally “get it” and start seeing life as an interesting game lived in each moment, that is when you can feel happy despite circumstance. I’m certainly nowhere close to a perfect level of enlightenment, but my minor experiences lead me to believe that it is definitely a state possible for all of us to achieve.

Depending on your answer to this question your technique for “handling” negative emotions can differ from “ride it out” as Scott says, to consciously reinterpreting things or speaking affirmations or changing focus or changing your posture/physique.

Another good question might be: Do negative emotions have a goal? Is it necessary for people to have negative emotions? Can we live without them?

Then we could ask: would you like to overcome or do away with negative emotions? Maybe it adds colour to your life? Maybe you can only or more strongly appreciate the good if you have felt the bad?

Steve Pavlina wrote in one of his articles that his underlying feeling of wellbeing increased over time so that even if he has some setbacks he still has un underlying feeling of bliss.

Tynan from Betterthanyourboyfriend.com wrote the following post claiming never being unhappy again. http://www.betterthanyourboyfriend.com/how-to-be-happy-always.htm

Sorry for just asking questions , but it’s such an interesting topic, I’d like to further the discussion by asking questions.

I completely agree that sometimes acknowledging a feeling can drastically lessen the intensity. Sometimes it won’t and you will still get caught up in a negative state, but respecting the state you are in is the first step in changing it.

I think Tolle says that pain comes from the resistance to the feeling. When you accept it fully and surrender to it and just let it in into your body and feel it it´s like it just dissipates. Pretty counter-intuitive. But it often works for me and puts me in a relaxed state.

Best wishes and good luck in 2007, Scott!

This is one of the posts that comes “just in time”. I’ve had a series of bad stuff happening to me in December, starting with a quite bad thing involving a car accident and my neck (though it’s not something really serious in the end) and ending in catching a simple cold, with a variety of different disgraces in the middle.

The fact that it all started with a very bad thing and then stacked, made everything that came after much worser in my mind. For instance when I catched that simple cold (gone in a day) I was very frustrated about the fact that everything was going wrong.

But I am a very dedicated practicioner of “inner game”, which is how the PUAs call state control and emotional mastery (a kind of a pun because “game” is the mix of attitude and behaviors to pick girls, so “inner game” is the “game” you have for yourself .

Since long ago I had this idea of focusing in a primary goal per year or season (same as steve pavlina says on one of his latest posts). This last year I have focused primarily on developing my inner game. In fact I’ve written extensively on some “Wulfen’s Inner Game Method”, which if you are curious about, is here (warning: very long):

http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=60578&fid=23

Suffice to say, the basis for focusing a lot on emotional mastery is because I’ve traditionally had very low self-esteem and that was blocking me in too many levels.

As of lately, however (since the summer) I was able to keep a very high state, using the methods I describe in the link above. Specifically meditation and emotional reframing (as Tony Robbins explains in “Awaken the Giant Within”, reframing negative emotions into positive ones) I had bad things happening and could keep a really high state with no problems.

But somehow the stacking of several bad things happening to me in a row and very quickly brought me down. Of course this “depression” was nothing like the horrible lows I had when I was a chump, I was kind of normal, but lost a lot of my motivation to achieve, began to vegetate more, had some moments when I was really really down (but not that much and not lasting too long) and specially, as you say, I was frustrated about not being able to not be frustrated!

Somehow a series of small and medium disasters were able to kick me down. I thought I had this “inner game” issue handled, and there it was, the Universe again, striking me until she saw me falling down. Putting roadblocks in the thing I wanted to achieve most.

The thing is, I asked my mentor about this, he’s a very positive person and I have learnt loads from him, so basically I asked him how could I keep being positive about this. His answer?

“Dude, you don’t have to be a buddhist monk! Shit happens!”

Yep, you don’t need to feel great all the time. It’s ok to focus on the positive, and to manage petty and medium disgraces. But when something major happens, and you are unable to do anything about it, it’s ok to feel down. Not to revel in the sorrow, but to acknowledge it and let it pass.

In the end, all I needed to manage this stuff was let it pass. After a week it seems my emotions have calmed down, some minor issues have been resolved, and also I am now in a position where I can do stuff about the bigger issues (you know, holidays are bad for bureucratic stuff).

However struggling against negative feelings has not been without benefit. What could have left the “old Wulfen” devastated, simply brought me down. People saw that I was a little more laconic, a little more sad, but still fun to hang around. I’ve learnt to rein these bad feelings (I’ve exploded a couple of times, but only to very close people). I think being able to feing being very down it’s a good skill to have, even if it might seem a little deceptive. Because if you start acting happy, you somehow become happier. One of the best ways to become happy when you’re down is to try to cheer up someone else.

And also after a couple weeks I’ve been able to reframe these emotions to positive again. Hey, all the bad stuff hapened *last year*, and that’s sooo long ago

Rock Hard, Ride Free,

Wulfen