Point 6 is very important. Without trust people wont open up and will probably tell you what you want to here. Progressive leaders will encourage feedback and absorbs the pain even when it hurts motivated by the need to improve and do better.

I agree. You can have both honesty and tact. I’d rather have honesty from someone than tact, but I strive to deliver both in my feedback.

-Scott

Also, speaking of the golden rule, although you didn’t mention it, if you want honest feedback, you need to give it, too. Although you may want harsher feedback than the other person does, you still need to be honest in your feedback, and if they can’t take it, then whatever relationship you have with the person may not be worth the time and energy invested in it in the first place.

Matter of fact, now that I think about it, there’s never a need for brutal honesty. You can always be completely honest without being brutal. I can point out five things wrong with your writing (Not Scott Young, I mean the general “you”) without even implying that you are bad at writing, or especially that you’re so bad that you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. Anywhere you feel like you can’t be open and honest, you should think twice about whether you want to be there at all.

This may sound odd, but I don’t recommend being brutally honest to others even though you expect it yourself. Few people are mature enough to handle the truth without a little bit of encouragement, so I only offer harsh opinions to those who explicitly ask for it.

For all the people who have transcended their egoic compulsions (or can at least keep them in check) then honesty is a good policy, but I think this is one area where the Golden Rule doesn’t quite align.

I guess it’s up to how people take the comments. I mean, someone could say “You suck” in a very aggressive way and the receiver would feel very offended.

Nice post. Made me realise some new things. Keep it up