Comments on: The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:53:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Perfectionism vs. appreciation of current abilities http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-4/#comment-1286481 Perfectionism vs. appreciation of current abilities Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:32:27 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1286481 [...] up far more than perfect abilities ever would have. Afterwards, I was persuaded to sing karaoke :P People don’t care; that has been a great realisation for [...] [...] up far more than perfect abilities ever would have. Afterwards, I was persuaded to sing karaoke :P People don’t care; that has been a great realisation for [...]

]]> By: HouseGuest http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-3/#comment-1270422 HouseGuest Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:16:00 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1270422 Hi Scott, I really like this post because it explains some key elements of human behaviour without being cynical or overly simplistic. I think the part about selfish altruism is really important - some people fail to take responsibility for the fact that when they are helping someone, they are also meeting some of their own needs (to feel important, look good to others, leave a legacy etc). Especially in cases where the help recipient has a sense of entitlement, or where they don't actually need the help (but accept it when offered out of politeness/laziness) the recipient might not return the favour, which leaves the helper feeling indignant, cheated or used, and leaves the recipient with a bad reputation. Knowing about selfish altruism would help both parties realise why they ended up looking/feeling bad! Selfish altruism might also explain why some people are more introverted than others - people who frequently need help will want to form relationships and have lots of "credit in the favour bank", so they can draw on them when needed, whilst people who are good at meeting their own needs will not see the sense in constantly having to help other people when they do not ask much in return, so they might be just as happy being alone. I'm going to bookmark this one I think! Hi Scott,
I really like this post because it explains some key elements of human behaviour without being cynical or overly simplistic.

I think the part about selfish altruism is really important – some people fail to take responsibility for the fact that when they are helping someone, they are also meeting some of their own needs (to feel important, look good to others, leave a legacy etc). Especially in cases where the help recipient has a sense of entitlement, or where they don’t actually need the help (but accept it when offered out of politeness/laziness) the recipient might not return the favour, which leaves the helper feeling indignant, cheated or used, and leaves the recipient with a bad reputation. Knowing about selfish altruism would help both parties realise why they ended up looking/feeling bad!

Selfish altruism might also explain why some people are more introverted than others – people who frequently need help will want to form relationships and have lots of “credit in the favour bank”, so they can draw on them when needed, whilst people who are good at meeting their own needs will not see the sense in constantly having to help other people when they do not ask much in return, so they might be just as happy being alone.

I’m going to bookmark this one I think!

]]> By: Tammi http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-3/#comment-1259763 Tammi Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:57:00 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1259763 I think the author is not referring to enabling dependency (which is what causes burnout and is not a healthy relationship). I think the author is referring to relationships with mentally healthy people. I think if the author included the unhealthy relationships that can become a life sucking problem (alcoholics, narcissists, sociopaths) this would be a better article for those dealing with understanding that SOME people have NO empathy for others and we have to accept that we do not have to allow those people to take over our lives. Thank you though, for an interesting article regarding 'normal' people and relationships. I think the author is not referring to enabling dependency (which is what causes burnout and is not a healthy relationship). I think the author is referring to relationships with mentally healthy people. I think if the author included the unhealthy relationships that can become a life sucking problem (alcoholics, narcissists, sociopaths) this would be a better article for those dealing with understanding that SOME people have NO empathy for others and we have to accept that we do not have to allow those people to take over our lives. Thank you though, for an interesting article regarding ‘normal’ people and relationships.

]]> By: Truth http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-3/#comment-1237266 Truth Tue, 27 Dec 2011 08:51:26 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1237266 This rule is true on average that if you want people to listen to you that you focus on them,but it's not always the same results.Some will talk 90% and only give you 10% to to talk and others will talk 40% and give you 60% to talk,so it's not always the same,BUT it does work.Listen to someone they will then listen to you on average.Respect someone and they will respect you on average,etc. Thank you :) This rule is true on average that if you want people to listen to you that you focus on them,but it’s not always the same results.Some will talk 90% and only give you 10% to to talk and others will talk 40% and give you 60% to talk,so it’s not always the same,BUT it does work.Listen to someone they will then listen to you on average.Respect someone and they will respect you on average,etc.

Thank you :)

]]> By: Andrew http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-3/#comment-1218029 Andrew Sun, 18 Dec 2011 15:05:06 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1218029 Bookmarked. Bookmarked.

]]> By: Ghaith http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-3/#comment-1200493 Ghaith Sat, 10 Dec 2011 13:23:39 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1200493 I want to thank you for this article ,very deep and simple at the same time , great way of viewing the world .. but still as you said at the first ,human kind to very complicated to be understood ,thank you again :) I want to thank you for this article ,very deep and simple at the same time , great way of viewing the world .. but still as you said at the first ,human kind to very complicated to be understood ,thank you again :)

]]> By: Natasha http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-3/#comment-1185717 Natasha Sun, 04 Dec 2011 19:07:44 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1185717 This was a great post. I've been feeling so confused, sad, and angry recently. I feel like I try so hard to help out with my friends and families needs (even if these somehow help me in the long run). I think about how people are feeling all the time. It is like I feel their pain. My laziness or selfishness plays a part when I fail to act to help them. But I think this is also limited by the way society has given us rules. I find myself saying, "well you don't need to do that" "they wouldn't do that for you" etc. No matter what, I do express to them my empathy for what their going for, even if I don't do some lavish gesture to try and help. I let them know that I understand and I'm interested. I care. I get angry when I can't even get someone to help me out even when I spell it out for them. It's usually something that isn't even difficult. But they just don't care. Not like I do. They aren't thinking about me when I am not around. They aren't considering my feelings or thinking about how to make my day better. PEOPLE JUST DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU! This is the scariest part. why? what is love then? This was a great post.

I’ve been feeling so confused, sad, and angry recently. I feel like I try so hard to help out with my friends and families needs (even if these somehow help me in the long run). I think about how people are feeling all the time. It is like I feel their pain. My laziness or selfishness plays a part when I fail to act to help them. But I think this is also limited by the way society has given us rules. I find myself saying, “well you don’t need to do that” “they wouldn’t do that for you” etc. No matter what, I do express to them my empathy for what their going for, even if I don’t do some lavish gesture to try and help. I let them know that I understand and I’m interested. I care.

I get angry when I can’t even get someone to help me out even when I spell it out for them. It’s usually something that isn’t even difficult. But they just don’t care. Not like I do. They aren’t thinking about me when I am not around. They aren’t considering my feelings or thinking about how to make my day better.

PEOPLE JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU!
This is the scariest part. why? what is love then?

]]> By: SCOTM http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-3/#comment-1135639 SCOTM Mon, 14 Nov 2011 05:33:21 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1135639 What an intelligent young man you are with such brilliant insights! Thank you Scott. p.s. Where do you think these 2 simple words would fall and what percentage would you give them? 3% of the empathy or relationship pie slice? To me, "Thank You" is the most under-utilized tool we have in our society for getting more in life. What an intelligent young man you are with such brilliant insights! Thank you Scott.
p.s. Where do you think these 2 simple words would fall and what percentage would you give them? 3% of the empathy or relationship pie slice? To me, “Thank You” is the most under-utilized tool we have in our society for getting more in life.

]]> By: Get Your Partner To Agree To Relationship Counseling | Magic Makeup Methods - Get Your Ex Back - Prevent Divorce http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-3/#comment-1134034 Get Your Partner To Agree To Relationship Counseling | Magic Makeup Methods - Get Your Ex Back - Prevent Divorce Sun, 13 Nov 2011 12:06:14 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1134034 [...] If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they're more likely to give it a try.Relationship counseling can be a great solution for resolving problems and to prevent divorce. couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly [...] [...] If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they're more likely to give it a try.Relationship counseling can be a great solution for resolving problems and to prevent divorce. couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly [...]

]]> By: Meeting strangers to friend; Part 1: Sketching at the Berkeley BART Station http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/comment-page-3/#comment-1131748 Meeting strangers to friend; Part 1: Sketching at the Berkeley BART Station Sat, 12 Nov 2011 12:08:36 +0000 http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/28/the-critical-7-rules-to-understand-people/#comment-1131748 [...] aren't perfect at being curious with other people; we're too self-absorbed with our own lives, and tend to be curious around [...] [...] aren't perfect at being curious with other people; we're too self-absorbed with our own lives, and tend to be curious around [...]

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