Comments on: Social Courage: How to Meet New People

By: Social Natural

Social Natural — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 05:51:36 +0000

Scott, the one thing I like that you said was that courage isn’t linear. People might have fear of snake, but completely confident in skydiving. That is why I agree with of your post how confidence is overrated. Almost every self-help program address the problem as being a confidence issue. It’s deeper than that. They don’t address the skillset, and just tell you to just be confident.

By: Christoph Dollis

Christoph Dollis — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 09:47:13 +0000

I can’t believe I learned a lesson this important from a vegetarian (hey, I had to say it before it becomes illegal).

You’ve sold me, Scott. You were right. I wasn’t.

Courage is the beginning and confidence is a result. Thinking we can start new things (or restart old ones) from a position of enormous confidence is batshit crazy.

Profound observation. I thank you for it from the bottom of my heart.

Christoph

By: james mallwood

james mallwood — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 04:42:47 +0000

b Straight up interesting , timely, relevant , conscious, meaningful, nurturing.Great when a topic as sweet as communicating naturally with fellow sapient beings is well presented.

By: emendatio » Learn how to speak to strangers.

emendatio » Learn how to speak to strangers. — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 15:16:46 +0000

[...] H. Young explains How to Meet New People, How to Improve your Social Skills and goes even further to explain How to Overcame Fear in [...]

By: How to Be More Social « Uncovering The Real You

How to Be More Social « Uncovering The Real You — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:58:35 +0000

[...] (~2000 words), exploring the idea of how to become more social, expanding on the ideas as I’ve written about them before. You might want to bookmark this post if you don’t have time to read it all [...]

By: Craig Brown

Craig Brown — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:33:33 +0000

Hey, great article! I’m a flight attendant for American Airlines so I meet people on planes more than buses , but I’ve have met some incredible people while flying…people who are now close friends, who live all over the world where I’ve been able to visit them, and who have just generally enriched my life. Here are two points:
1. To further one of your points…it’s a matter of odds. I exchange emails with many many people, often to send them my vacation pictures or whatever. Of 20 emails I receive, maybe 1 develops into some kind of friendship. But if you are putting yourself out there 1 in 20 adds up to a lot!
2. Focus on the positive people. Most flight attendants get on the plane and within 5 minutes they find the one person they HATE. I look for the one person I LIKE. Who took a trip to Nepal? Who is going to be an exchange student in Ghana? Who is studying ecological landscaping (what’s that?)? Hey, I was thinking of reading that book…what do you think?

I’ve been drivin around New Zealand, Invited to use someones apartment in Paris while they were gone (talk about trust!), and many have come to visit me ( I live in a beautiful place).

Anyway, thanks for the article.
Oh yeah, LOL, If you want to see some of my vacation pictures, email me at prospero39@hotmail.com and Ill send you the link from kodakgallery.

Cheers, Craig

By: Douglas Woods

Douglas Woods — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 08:48:03 +0000

A very interesting and worthwhile article. You are correct to say that it is often ourselves who hold us back in social situations. meeting people, especially new people, is very intimidating for many people.
It seems that many of us fear that we shall be judged by the other person.

By: Greg

Greg — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 14:58:27 +0000

It is always a big first step for anyone to reach out an open themselves up to someone for the first time. We deal with a good number of job seekers who are scared to put themselves on the line when meeting employers for the first time. This is especially true at our job fairs, even when employers are there with the sole purpose to meet these job seekers, ‘in person’. This is a great post to pass on to my job seekers when faced with an uncomfortable situation. Thanks Scott. Looking forward to future posts.

By: Sebastyne R. Young

Sebastyne R. Young — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 22:35:29 +0000

Second article I read by you, and I’m becoming a fan. I have no problems at talking to strangers at a dog park, but there seems to be a huge barrier in getting past the chat phase. There’s a bunch of people I really like, but never meet apart from these random meetings at the dog park. It’s sad really. But what is even more sad, is that as a Finn, the places you’re commonly allowed to talk to strangers are far and between… But I bet, that if someone would break the rules, it wouldn’t be as bad as everyone thinks… Interesting thought.

By: Mike Savage

Mike Savage — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 04:30:52 +0000

Scott,
I think releasing inhibitions and not focusing on outcome as much as the process is very benificial to social creatures, and im glad you brought it up because i dont beleave enough people truly understand this, i grew up in a small town where everyone talks to everyone in many different settings, so when i moved to the city (vancouver, then surrey B.C.), i naturally took my attitude with me, i would talk to people anywhere, my favorite place was actually on the bus because your stuck in this moving room with a whole selection of people, i was able to pick a person (or group of people) that i wanted to talk with, comment on something about the situation or there apperance, and quikly got into a deep conversaition, most of the time i dident ask to meet with them again unless i really felt the urge, i figured, if our paths alinged again, then we could continue our fresh relationship, altho you can meet people anywhere, i find that i like to pick the places i meet people for example, my favorite place to meet people right now is at this really cool licensed cyber cafe in Edmonton, the reason i like to meet people there is because the cafe seems to attract people who i find really interesting, and typicaly when people go there they are in a social mood and are intersted in engaging in thought provoking conversation over a beer. I really do think there is something to finding settings that atract the type of people you want to meet and going out and meeting people at these places. One thing i would like to note is there are always people who dont want to talk to you (the reasons are many), but i find these people stick out, and you dont want to talk to them anyways, if you do find yourself in a situation trying to talk to some1 who doesent want to talk to you, i find it really easy to figure out quickly and it takes a little practice, but it is equally easy to gracefully end the conversation(and sometimes give them something to think about). the more people open up, the better off we all will be. I find it peculiar that even tho we are surrounded by people all of the time, most people find it strange or akward to talk to people they dont already know, perhaps it is because we are around so many people from day to day, we are jaded as to the value held in each individual. one thing that really got me talking to lots of different people (of all types, shapes, colours, textures, smells, etc…), was realizing that EVERYONE has something they can share with me that could be benificial, and that i have something to share with everyone. very nice article yet again scott, we seem to have come up with very simalar ideas about things independently, this is something i find very interesting, i wouldent be supprised if there are othere parallels in our childhood, genetics, and eviroments leading us to simalar thoughts, i have found many others in line with my ideals / concepts of life, and have later found out we have been in many very simalar situations, and often have met some of the same people (often even in different towns or citys throughout canada). the more you open up the smaller and warmer this world becomes, for you and every1 you come in contact with.
thanx for reading my rant, please excuse my poor spelling and grammer, and any feedback would be appreciated.

cheers,
Mike