I was never interested in drinking, but when I was at the age of leaving school and beginning to experience the community around me as an adult the pressure was indeed on to go “partying” – which meant either house parties or nights out on the town – and not just at the weekend either. Any of these social events I attended would guarantee at least one conversation/debate about the merits of being a non-drinker and guaranteed pressure to “go on just have one” and “what’s the big deal”. Some people actually seem personally offended at the presence of a non-drinker in their midst.

Even to this day (I’m in my 30s now) in the workplace the norm is to “work hard/party hard” with many a story of drunken madness being told on Monday morning.

So, the pressure is there, in a lot of workplaces and within social communities – and you do need to have a strong character and/or lots of support to stand your ground and carry on regardless. As I’ve said – not everyone is so lucky!

I’d need to do a search to find more, but off the top of my head:

http://30sleeps.com/blog/
http://www.succeedsocially.com/

-Scott

You mentioned that “there are already dozens of great authors on those subjects in the web, and I don’t have too much to add.” Can you share some of those resources?

So far the only thing that comes to my mind is Dale Carnegie’s classic “How to win friends…”.

Rondon

Most people at parties are dying to find someone to engage in any conversation with so they aren’t left standing awkwardly alone. I sometimes attempt to engage on a bus or plane the same way, but there it has nowhere near the same effectiveness. There is no event where people are more willing to talk to strangers than a party. Instead of awkward, shouted small talk about impossibly trivial things, why not make your conversations about what you can do for them? Every encounter should end with a handshake and an exchange of business cards.

It’s also a great excuse to show up knowing no one – I’ve been known to crash parties literally walking by off the street if it looks interesting. 99% of the time, no one says a thing, so long as you are well dressed and carry yourself confidently. It takes literally 3 seconds to make a new friend at a party, simply by opening up with a big smile and going for a handshake with an enthusiastic, “Hey buddy!”

The second you realize almost every there is feeling at least if not more awkward and out of place as you, you’ll be in control and can literally take over a room. Just be positive, shake a lot of hands, and make damn sure to remember at least a handful of names, preferably of the best dressed people.

Until I realized that parties are a BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY, I used to feel completely lost and out of place at them. I don’t drink, I loathe the banality of small talk, and I am just not that into “going wild”. Now, I feel like every party is a chance to expand my business. I have a lot of purpose and drive at parties. It informs every conversation I have, and ironically, I’ve found it actually makes me more effective and interesting with the people I’m engaging. They sense dedication and admire the tenacity to get results. Nothing is more impressive than someone who knows what they want, and knows how to get it.

I hope I didn’t give the impression that I didn’t enjoy the article – I know you put in a great deal of thought and effort into every piece you do. I think that I simply became so accustomed to witnessing a bunch of exciting mental breakthroughs every time I came here, and this bit was quite a change of pace.

You mention that you haven’t written that much on socialization and college life because you “don’t have too much to add,” and I must say I’d disagree, along with the majority of your readers! On the contrary, I’d be greatly interested in how you manage to fit in a fulfilling socialization into a lifestyle primarily based on active pursuit of productivity and growth – What you do, Why, and How, etc. You have a lot to offer on that front, to say the least.

And Jean – You have a beautiful website. I too am in the process of building a website and finding that it is one of the bigger challenges I’ve faced in life. The content of my site probably won’t deal with personal development per se but I’d like to model the basic gist of it after Scott’s and yours (straightforward, interactive and aesthetically pleasing). I’ll be seeing a lot more of your sites.

Whenever I take a departure from my normal posting routine I’m not going to please everyone, but hopefully it keeps things interesting.

I wrote this post in response to quite a few questions about what my stance was with partying and going out in University. The reason I haven’t written a lot of socialization articles or partying/meeting people is because there are already dozens of great authors on those subjects in the web, and I don’t have too much to add.

I suppose this is a more self-indulgent post to show some of my reasoning about an area of my life besides work, school, exercise and typical personal-development topics. Although I like to stick to the subjects I’m good at, it does give a bit of a skewed perception for how I actually live my life.

-Scott

Perhaps it’s understandable after you’ve produced a string of absolutely superb articles within the past half month such as: How to Set Goals Creatively, 9 Great Ways to Invest in Yourself, and Reviews of the Fountainhead/Atlas Shrugged. I’d love for you to do a piece on socializing and partying from a university student’s point of view that is much broader in scope and practical than this one.

Jonas