Chris has a great website and I’ve emailed with him a few times. If you want to send me an email, howtochangeahabit@gmail.com , I’d be happy to connect you both.

-Scott

The mystery method teaches you exactly what to say, which allows you to work on you body language and delivery, which is 90% of successful communications.”

The often quoted idea that body language and delivery are 90% of successful communication is based on a misrepresentation of the actual research studies on the subject. The following article elaborates:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Debunking-the-Myths-of-Non-Verbal-Communication&id=974778

As for the pickup community: As I see it, if you’re socially awkward and rely purely on the seduction community for social skills advice, you can get fairly messed up, a point that is well-defended on the site datinggroundwork.com, written by Chris of succeedsocially.com.

In Mystery Method “going out” four nights a week means going to a bar, not to a yoga class or some non-pickup spot. Most normal guys pursue sports, clubs, classes and friendships in their off-hours, they don’t go to bars four nights a week. Doing that is the right idea only if being a pickup artist is pretty much your only social goal. The pickup community tends to push guys towards achieving sex with lots of women their only goal, because it’s a goal that makes perfect sense to the guys like Mystery who teach it. It’s like a golf pro telling you that you need to spend at least eight hours a week on the putting green: to him that advice makes perfect sense, because he’s devoted his whole life to getting good at golf and figures you’ll naturally want to do the same. I believe pickup artists tend to assume you’ll want to spend most of your non-work hours pursuing casual sex.

I’m sure it’s a great system, and I know people who have succeeded with it. But it is a system, and I also know people who practiced without the system and still made huge improvements. Everyone needs to find the path that resonates best with them.

-Scott

If you weighted 500 lbs. you would have to take massive action to lose weight.

Take a sales job; model the best people in the office, listen to all the stuff you can on sales self help, and really push yourself.

Also, if your single, get into the pickup community and join a local chapter (aka lair). Start out with the Mystery Method, it is the easiest to learn and go out at least 4 nights a week.

In a year, you will be a totally different person.

First, the pick up community is not an “advanced dating skill set”. You can be very socially inept and be able make it work for you.

The mystery method teaches you exactly what to say, which allows you to work on you body language and delivery, which is 90% of successful communications.

It’s the repetition that sinks into your subconcious and going out and pushing your self through interactions with this material that improve your social skills.

Basically, you start out pretty much “reading from a script”, then after many approaches you start to gain a sense of how to talk to women without the routines.

Also, Pick Up can be applied to other areas of your life. No, not all of it is going to be useful for day-to-day life. But a lot is. It teaches you a structure to becoming a cool confident guy.

Once your social skills become decent from the community, then you want to get into sales and push yourself to become better.

I actually use this as a compass in learning social skills. It’s usually the things that make you uncomfortable which are things you must work on. I’ve improved alot.

I stumbled upon this while trying to challenge this idea, because the only way to be a real good thinker is to challenge your own ideas.

The problem with this way of thinking is that it almost seems too promising. My social skills got better because of it, but this may not work for everybody. If social skills were that easy to improve there wouldn’t be autism.

So right now I’m on the journey to understand just how much people can improve social skills with practice. I still believe that some weaknesses can’t be improved to what people wish them to be.

Your article is great, but almost too hopeful for some people who can’t develop in that area. But again, you can’t find out without practicing.

I’d like to hear your opinion on this matter.