Comments on: Do People Want Riches to Buy Stuff or Status?

By: Why Goal-Setting Can Leave You Miserable « Scott H Young

Why Goal-Setting Can Leave You Miserable « Scott H Young — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 11:33:14 +0000

[...] Do we deceive ourselves into claiming to pursue goals for instrumental reasons (like money or sex) when their realization doesn’t improve our life? Do we deceive ourselves equally when pursuing goals for experiential reasons (like travel) which may have deeper instrumental motivations we wouldn’t want to accept? [...]

By: Geo

Geo — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 05:04:48 +0000

It’s not just about stuff or status.

Many people pursue/accrue wealth for a sense of freedom.

By: Fred

Fred — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:48:28 +0000

I’m a big fan of Tony Robbins and his idea that we all have six human needs that absolutely MUST be met in order to feel fulfilled. One of the six needs is a sense of significance. You can meet your need for significance any way that you would like. You can meet it by being a champion of the human spirit and reaching out to everyone you can. You can also do it by being richer than your neighbor.

I think the solution to your question comes when you realize that people don’t really want *status* they want significance. Status is one vehicle (and a very common vehicle at that) that someone might use. It’s certainly not the only one available.

If you want to sidestep the tension in your life, why not just ask yourself what your rules are for feeling significant. Why not set a rule that says I am significant simply because I am a member of the human race striving to grow and give? Why not get rid of the rules that say “I am insignificant if ……” Easier said than done, but these rules definitely exist for each of us and they can most certainly be unconditioned. I’ve had the pleasure of doing it with myself, with clients, and to see it done with others.

It’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever experienced..and yes, it is also one of the primary ways I meet MY need for significance!

By: grant

grant — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 04:07:01 +0000

i love when people donate to something anonymously. there will be a list of people like: john q. and jane k. public (middle initials so we do not dare confuse them with some other folks with the same name), robert rothchilds rockefeller-whatever and then just “anonymous” which totally takes the piss out of the others.
anywho, loved your post.

By: Hey

Hey — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:11:18 +0000

I think the solution is to make status-seeking legit but constructive. Ie the Open Source movement where you get status for contributing useful stuff, not just writing useless TPS reports so you can buy a fancier car.

By: Hey

Hey — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:30:35 +0000

LessWrong had a similar idea regarding charity: instead of trying to make the world better, feel good, and get status with the same charity, you should do 3 different charity investments in order to get optimized utilons, hedons, and whatever they called the unit for status in your peergroup.

By: An

An — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:20:32 +0000

Hi Scott,

I agree with the first half of your article, with the people do not really want stuff, but status. However, the paradox of wanting status, yet not be “seen” seeking status – is deeper than that.

I see it as every single person needs to understand they HAVE status. If they do not see that they ALREADY have status, they will use whatever means they have to SEEK status. However, nothing they can seek, no matter how hard they try, will compare to the status that is ALREADY within them.

Let me illustrate. For example, an apple seed knows it will grow to be an apple tree and bear apples. Yet if the apple seed doesn’t know it is an apple seed, and tries to grow and become an tree bearing lemons, by growing off a branch of a lemon tree or other means, it will not only stunt the growth of the lemon tree, but stunt its own growth to become the full apple tree it is meant to be.

We need to understand our status comes from understanding and growing who we already ARE, what we already HAVE, right here, right now, and moving on from here.

(Of course, I certainty do not have all the answers, please feel free to jump in the discussion.)

By: Barbara

Barbara — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 07:29:29 +0000

This is a very timely discussion because earlier this evening I was lamenting over the fact that my son (age 19) is very into money, materialism and status. I am the complete opposite and it bothers and baffles me that he is this way. But…he admits it and is not ashamed of it. I think its almost a way to try and feel better about yourself if you are insecure, if you can LOOK good and successful then you can convince yourself and others that you are. I don’t know…just thinking out loud.

By: David

David — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 07:24:23 +0000

I suspect the solution is: give up.

Give up trying to find what you cannot find outside yourself, and recognize that you already are perfect, limitless, worthy of love and of loving.

After that, if you still want the status, then sure, go for it.

Just take care not to let the mind grab the giving up from you, spinning it into yet another story about yourself.

By: Linda

Linda — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:32:03 +0000

Sorry, just to bring it back to your question:
I think people want riches to buy stuff AND status. But I think they only want that because they don’t want to know what they really NEED. It’s hard work to speak the truth with what you do.