I’m taking a break from my normal, opinionated rants to pose a question: should your twenties be devoted to wandering the world, living in many places, but never deeply? Or should they be spent picking a place to live and investing your time to build a home from that place?
I’ll share my thoughts on this question and then invite you to respond with yours. Because, if blogging for four years has taught me anything, it is that collectively the readers are much smarter than I am.
Why Ask the Question?
I’m in a position where I may be able to run my business from anywhere in the world upon graduating from university. At the moment, this is looking likely, however even if it there are setbacks in my goal, I’ll keep showing up, so achieving the goal of a full-time location-independent business looks likely for me.
Being in such a position essentially untangles my career success from a particular location. I could live almost anywhere, for any period of time, without that decision having a significant impact on my progress in a career.
However, I’m not unique. Even if you aren’t planning to start a business in your twenties, there are many options for spending your twenties as a wanderer. You could:
- Change offices in within your company, moving between different cities and countries.
- Take work or educational exchanges (I’m on one right now, in France).
- Plan mini-retirements or sabbaticals from your work to travel.
- Take up freelancing or a mobile job and work from anywhere.
Yes, extreme vagabonding may not be available to everyone. But I think most people simply assume it is too expensive/difficult without doing any research. I know regular, suit-and-tie accountants that lived in different countries just by switching offices at their firm.
Given that myself and many others have, at least, the possibility of spending our twenties living in different cities and countries, this makes it worth asking the question. Especially for people such as myself, who have mostly decoupled location and career ambition, meaning there is no longer an obvious trade-off between your ambitions and desire to explore.
Does the Added Freedom Need to Be Exploited?
Let’s say you’ve got a location independent job, freelancing gig or business, does that mean you should use it?
If your company has openings in foreign countries, does that mean you should take them?
If your university offers exchanges and opportunities to study abroad, should you start packing your suitcase?
At this moment I’m living in France and it is, without doubt, the best year of my life. Adventures, interesting people, new languages and cultures make for an interesting life.
I believe there is a strong argument for doing a year (or two) abroad for anyone. Even if you later decide never to live in an exotic place again. The marginal value of adding a year as a foreigner is high.
But that begs a deeper question: is it worth it to continue living abroad? If I have the ability, what’s to prevent me (or you) from living in a dozen different countries for nine months at a time?
Do You Dabble or Commit?
This may be one of the best years of my life. But the relationships are also more fleeting. Many people I’ve met, I will never see again in my life. Friends, social circles and people will all get separated over time.
Yes, this will happen even if you never change locations. People will move, switch jobs, or drift apart. However, if you become a permanent vagabond, this becomes more extreme. Sure, you can always keep in touch, but keeping in touch is more difficult than continuing friendships face-to-face.
There is an argument that continuous wandering may create more friendships, but ultimately shallower ones.
There is also an argument against this wandering from a personal growth perspective. Yes, living in new places opens you up to new experiences. But it also creates new obstacles. Living in one location could allow you to build on past successes and create an amazing life, rather than needing to reset every several months.
Wandering also puts other goals on hold. You may enjoy years of travel, but wake up in your early thirties to discover many of your earlier peers have left you behind. They have bigger careers or businesses. I’m not saying the tradeoff isn’t worth it, just that there is often a trade-off to consider.
The Broader Implications of Your Choice
This question has been on my mind a lot lately. I’m living abroad and contemplating where I may set off to next.
However, I think the question is a more general one about how you pursue life. It’s the question of variety or depth, and while I don’t believe you need to be consistent in your answer on every case, your choice in this question also forces you to reflect on other issues:
- Should you date or marry one person exclusively, or have many shorter relationships?
- Should you stick to one job, or hop frequently?
- Should you build one major enterprise or become a serial entrepreneur?
- Should you study one subject exclusively, or broaden your learning to everything?
- Should you commit to lifestyle traits such as religion, vegetarianism, etc., or reinvent yourself every year?
My current opinion is to lean towards wandering. The trade-offs aren’t as large when you are young and have relatively few external commitments. However, I do understand the arguments on both sides.
What are your thoughts? Should you build a life for yourself in one place, or become a perpetual wanderer? What are your thoughts on the broader implications of this choice? Please share in the comments.
I'm a speed-reading, vegetarian, holistic learning, productivity hacking recent university graduate. And, for the last five years I've been experimenting to find out how to get more from life.
I think that it’s not a black-and-white issue. I am a college freshman, and I plan to spend a year abroad. I also want to pursue location independence after school and hopefully live in a variety of places throughout my young life. But I also hope to establish a home and a family at some point. I grew up in the same house with a stable family for 18 years. While that probably did a lot to fuel my desire to get out and see more of the world, it was also invaluable. I may never stop traveling, but when I start a family I intend to establish a home base.
Great questions Scott,
I think you should definitely explore as much life as possible on your twenties, to find out who you are, what you like, and what you don’t like. I am still doing and just got to my thirties
.
And if you plan to live to 120 like I am then you will have a plenty of time later to settle
. By the way, I saw you said you are a dancing machine 
, what kind of dancing do you do?
I think wandering can be great, people who have been all over the globe and seen many things become very successful when they eventually start building. But there is a danger also, when you are getting used to the vagabond lifestyle, you might start to miss it when you are eventually settling. So you start to build a family and suddenly, in your mid-life crisis, you feel the urge to go away, to travel.
Another problem is that you can’t continu being with the person you love when you start to travel. I would love to travel the earth, but I have a lovely girlfriend here in the Netherlands.
I like this piece Scott, makes you think.
I feel the key is to understand yourself enough to know in what areas of your life you find joy in wandering versus committing. A serial entrepreneur might enjoy a committed long-term relationship over many shorter relationships. However, there is no right or wrong way to go about it, but initially less commitment is better until you understand who you are and want to make longer commitments.
As a recent college grad, this is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. As much as I am leaning towards wandering and exploration, because it makes sense at this point in my life, I know that I will eventually settle in to one place. It’s not because I have a logical or reason based answer to your “Should you….” questions but rather I know that it’s in my personality to generally want a more stable lifestyle with lasting friendships. Answer the should’s aren’t necessary. Take action, experiment, and see what clicks well with who you are
There is no right answer to the question. You cannot move constantly and expect tight social circles, but you might be able to establish a constant location, then travel from there. For example, live in New York but take 2-3 Months every year to travel, and/or every 7 years take a 1 long travel sabbatical.
oops, that’s suppose to say “every 7 years take a year long sabbatical”.
I agree with Ben, these are not categorical imperatives and need not be answered. You just go for what feels natural to you.
Scott, I don’t understand why you say this: you may … discover [that] many of your earlier peers have left you behind. It implies that life is some kind of race for more toys in the end. I don’t believe you wanted suggest such a thing. Or is it just me who understands it this way?
It’s not about should or should not. Choose whatever is more important to you right now. You made a nice overview of the pros and cons.
I lately noticed more and more that the wanderers quite often seem to look down at the people who settle: boring, afraid of challenges and narrow minded. While the ‘settlers’ think of the wanderers as being irresponsible and ‘shallow. Both lifestyles have their own challenges and pros and cons… and everyone is different…
It’s shades of gray! Sorry I couldn’t resist after seeing the first comment, and because a friend and I recently did a post with that name. However, it is true. The fact that you think things through and realize the pluses and minus, seeing things from both perspectives is a fantastic start! What is right for now doesn’t have to be right forever. You need to follow your heart, and seeing you say you are leaning towards traveling, as well as the fact you have been working hard to set up a business that can travel with you shows that is where your heart is, despite your ability to recognize the sacrifices you may entail. How do you know when to switch things up and make roots? Simply your heart will tell you, and that is what you will want more, even though again it will entail some sacrifices. It may be a place or a person your heart just can’t do without and you’ll know. As well if you choose to have a family, what is best for them can become essential to your own happiness, and may led you a certain way you did not expect.
You don’t need to put limits on yourself or give others license to do so:
Replace, “Should you…” with, “Do you want to…” and remember that no choice is permanent. Change will occur whether you choose it or not, (that’s the world we live in) so be mindful of yourself, your wants, your needs and those of the people important to you and take what opportunities come your way without reservation.
Wherever you go, there you are. I wandered inwardly in my 20′s, but stayed in the same town. I do think one’s 20′s are a good time to experiment with career, location, relationship, etc. You can make big mistakes and still have time to clear them up before you start getting too old.
Everyone must find their own balance between laying foundations and wandering, whether inwardly or outwardly. Even consistent wandering is itself a foundation and can become a habit–for better or worse.
Some notes on the comments generally:
1. “Should” is being misconstrued as an imperative. I didn’t mean it that way. It would be better phrased:
“what are the pros and cons of wandering versus staying focused, and what’s your opinion on the balance and choice you would take.”
2. It’s not a dichotomy, but a spectrum. My question isn’t which you would choose, but where you lie between the two extremes.
3. Of course it is your opinion and not “right” for everyone, what I like hearing is everyone’s *reasons* for choosing one side or another, because I feel they help develop the broader philosophy of choosing either way.
Thanks again for the great comments, you’ve given me food for thought!
-Scott
For my life, I very much want a family and a community to call my own. However, wandering allows me to find a near optimal place. Once I find my place, I can fill it with the family I so very much want. I guess I’m saying that exploring can show you what you might be missing and what might be better for yourself. But you then have to take the leap, even though there might be an even better place that you simply haven’t found yet.
14 months ago my husband and I sold our home and started moving toward a more wandering lifestyle. Since then we’ve worked for the same company in a different state for six months, finished full time work, sold a lot of our belongings, traveled on and off for a total of six months and have spent the time in between living in a new state with my parents. For the foreseeable future, this will continue to be the trend of our lives. In two weeks my husband departs on a trip to Myanmar and I will join him a month later to commence two months in Europe.
Whilst it’s nice not to be locked in to any one particular location, job or daily routine, there are aspects of this new lifestyle which have been hard to adjust to.
Being locked in to the settled routine for 8 years whilst we worked and bought a house had good and bad aspects also. Now we probably have an equal amount of good and bad, but because this kind of lifestyle isn’t common in society it’s hard to feel like it is (or we are) “normal” and because there isn’t really a model on how to adjust to this kind of living.
its funny, l came across this blog this morning when l am having some problems in my life on deciding what l want to do, be and have in the remaining years, l have left. l am 24 years and have been to 14 different countries over the yrs since graduation and the reason why l have travelled this much are:
1. let me enjoy life while l am still young
2. dont need to establish my career yet, until l am turn 27-28
3. Life tells us that we only get our freedom before we get married and commit to our carreer paths.
4. This is the only time l can be selfish, irresponsible and not report to anyone
5. l dont want any limitations..l want more out of life..
6. the best one has been: l will take this as an opportunity to discover who l really am!
l have seen so many excitng places over the years, and l still have a lot of places to go in my list..but one thing l have discoverd in btwn my breaks(btwn planning on where to go next) time is moving very fast and every day l am losing on many important things everyday..
l leave this place hoping to get something out of life and while l am there l sometimes wonder what it would be like if stay in one place, focused on my career and possibly established a proper relationship…
while the thought of being stable sounds like the right thing to do, l tend the think otherwise and continue with my quest for personal satisfaction and not attachments.
l have come to a conclusion, though the are no facts to support this but my personal experience that while it is good to follow your heart and explore what all the beautiful places that God created..it always better to make a path for urself first and then once in a while step off the road and do something different for a while and enjoy.. and get back to reality..
currently, l am in malaysia …:) l am at a point where l feel l need to do something more fulfiling..l am weighing my options, looking at business opportunites and establishing a career path…
yes, l want more out of life. oh, l want the best!…. but l really need to know where to begin…
Great questions Scott. It’s hard to say what others should do, and although there are lots of people in “live anywhere” space, most people still feel more comfortable staying put. I do too. In a way. It’s much easier to travel if you stay put in each place for an arbitrary amount of time (for me, it’s at least a month). It feels more like home and you get into somewhat of a routine. But before it becomes too much of a routine you move on and do it over. I’m doing it right now (Hello from India!) and, although I probably won’t do it forever, I love it.
Some people just don’t like to travel as much as others. This is one of those things the lifestyle design community is constantly talking about without realizing there is a sizeable minority that isn’t even into it. Some people are more homesteaders than vagabonders, I think.
Even so, there is the casnochian argument of force-feeding new experiences into to your brain to induce new personal growth. Liking travel helps here, but it could be argued from a purely utilitarian standpoint that you could get something out of it, learning-wise, even if you hate it.
I am planning to elaborate on my argument above (ie 4HWW for homesteaders) in the next issue of IT mag btw.
Hi Scott, Great Post… After reading the title, and the content, I had to make a comment
Part one: I’ve always wanted to travel around the world for one year, see different places, meet new interesting people, feel excited everyday. I’ve always been travelling quite a bit, and 3 years ago, between a job change i’ve been able to travel far away (i’m in europe) and go for one month to australia. That trip really changed my thoughts on that. I ended up realizing that my plans to travel for one year would be just an escape of my reality. Don’t get me wrong, it might be an amazing experience to do it, but one needs to have the right reasons for it. I’ve found out that I didn’t. I’ve decided to stay and handle the areas of my life that needed help.
Part two: i’m 31 now, and left my home country almost 8 years ago. Moved to France and am now in Holland. What I’ve learned the hard way is that unless I really commit to completely embrace the new country, the language and the culture, i will never feel like belonging there. Might seem easy, but it isn’t. My experience is that “expats” tend to attract other “expats”, because of the same type of problems and experiences in arriving to a new country. Love your new country like you love your home country, connect with the people from that country, learn the language as fast as possible, no matter what.
Part three: Those were my experiences, and that’s also what I’ve learned… All these interesting questions are very personal and your answers depend on the phase of your life. What matters in the end is what you want to do, what you heart is telling you. If it’s telling you to move abroad, just do it. If it’s telling you to change jobs, just do it. If it’s telling you to learn new skills, just do it. Life is too short to do what is the correct for the rest of the world. Wake up happy everyday – being and doing what you enjoy!
Scott, I think you hit the nail on the head with the fleeting relationships comment.
From being on the road for about 7 years; based mostly on medium-term stays of 3-6 months I would say that fleeting relationships are one of the biggest sacrifices one has to make if committing to this lifestyle. Having a girlfriend (who isn’t travelling with you) can also be quite difficult, even if short-term romantic relationships aren’t. Friendships continue from where you left them off, but the depth is nothing like with lifelong friends.
However, there are workarounds that have kept me sane, especially when you are part of traveller circles like Couchsurfing or other bloggers; since that makes the world a lot smaller and means you will run into the same people more frequently and have real friends in that way. It also helps to travel with someone, however this has its own disadvantages in terms of immersion etc.
My advice is to try the lifestyle out while you are young (as I’m currently doing), have amazing experiences (even if some are superficial), and then settle down and appreciate what you’ll have learned from it all. Otherwise there may always be this doubt and “what if…” running through your mind.
A balance of the two is always possible
I go back to my parents house several times a year! However, in my mind it’s still not quite my base and I consider myself homeless. If you can afford it, having a base somewhere would help give you some physical attachments to the world.
My first year abroad was also one of the best of my life, but it’s almost impossible to reproduce all of the feelings you’d have now and any future experiences would be special in their own way. After a year in Valencia I thought that a year in each place would suit me, but I’m actually much happier on 3-month stays. As Karol says above, you get the chance to get into a routine and feel like you somewhat belong in a place.
Hope you find your own balance on this!!
I plan to do both.
My current goal is to have a home base, but spend up to a few months at a time in foreign countries. Or even different states in the U.S.
I’m going to butcher it totally, but I believe it was Mark Twain who said something …you can know the world by traveling, visiting every place or by staying in one place your whole life. No time to check out the exact quote. Maybe someone out there can.
I think it really comes down to the individual. Everyone is different. Some folks really have that desire to be adventurous and explore the world and all it has to offer. Some people prefer a more traditional route.
In reality then, a post like this says more about your readership than anything else. Judging from the comments before me, I’d say most of the folks here lean towards the “explorative” side than the traditional one.
I like what you said about it being a spectrum. Really hit it on the head there. But you also raised the question of which category. You can be adventurous in one aspect of life (travel) and more focused in another (relationships)
wander hard until about age 24 or 26. after that, marry the girlfriend who automatically brings a smile to your face just by seeing her, and who doesn’t go to pieces in an emergency. Build/buy two houses-one in north hemisphere, one in south. Get dual citizenship so you can have two passports
[...] his career from just about anywhere on the planet, he is faced with quite the decision. Should he wander the world or build up a home base? There are certainly pros and cons to both approaches, so I think it [...]
Benny,
You were someone I was thinking about when writing the article, as you took the initial sabbatical and spun it into an eventual vagabonding lifestyle. Many others take their year abroad and return home, to take occasional vacations.
I’m still not sure how I feel about the split. Part of me glorifies the variety and adventure of living in different places (both literally and metaphorically), but I’m afraid of the superficiality of it all.
I agree with the commenters–you gotta follow your heart, but the balance between these extremes is something I still not sure where I sit on.
-Scott
This is such an interesting question, and like many things I think the answer depends on where you’re at in your life when you ask it. When I was in my final year of university I couldn’t think of anything other than working and traveling overseas when I finished. I’d made my plans, saved my money, had my passport – and then I met my (now) husband. After that, I couldn’t think of anything other than staying with him. I absolutely don’t regret that decision; I’ve done as much valuable and healthy growing with him as I would have done had I traveled. It’s just different. Now that we have a young family, we talk about the traveling we want to do when our kids are grown up – our current plan is to get on the back of a Harley and see where it takes us (sigh…good times ahead!). The best thing about questions like this is that they get us thinking about the exciting possibilities that might be the answer. But just as important, is to wonder why we are asking them in the first place. Food for thought, I love it!
Good post. I wrote about something similar recently on “lightness vs. heaviness.”
My view: spend your 20′s exploring and experimenting and traveling because it’s easier and because you’ll learn more about yourself. Settle down and build the home later in life.
Scott,
One thing I think your article and commenters assume is that money is abundant and easy-to-come. I once believed that, then the real estate market crashed and I lost nearly everything. Beware of making the assumption that the inflow of cash will continue. Even the most prominent businesspeople fail and fall; the winners rise again. Being mindful of this can help you prepare for tough times, because tough times come for everyone. There’s no way around that.
I think of your 20s as a continuation and further development of laying your foundation for husbandhood and parenthood. If you have these goals in sight, whether sooner or later, you can continue to develop the husband and father aspects that you want to be known by. And, very importantly, save money so you can live beyond your dreams, but live within your means when these eventualities occur.
For example, I have a friend who by the age of 20 had saved $60,000 and bought a condo for cash. Now, at age 24, he has a lot more saved, is marrying and he and his wife have the freedom to sell and move, or stay and save more cash. The beauty of living without a mortgage is the freedom that comes with it. They are choosing to live debt free and well below what they can “afford.”
A few years back, at the height of my investment career, I lived in two states and at first it was thrilling to travel 500 miles back and forth every few weeks. Two years later, I grew tired of not having “roots” in a community, not being able to get involved in the lives of others, not being able to commit to helping people, not being able to make a difference in the lives of my new and old friends in either state. I’ve now opted for a more community-based lifestyle with richer relationships. While I realize this is not exactly what you are considering, I wanted to point out that I followed my dream for a wandering lifestyle of sorts and have since concluded that I have needs for deeper relationships and purpose with others.
“Finding oneself” is not about exploring various climates, languages and cultures. It’s about finding how simply you can live and relate to others and finding your purpose here–how you can affect others. In some ways you’ve found that through your blog. In other more significant ways, you will find it away from business and your website–through deep relationships with three kinds of people:
1. People who can never repay you
2. People who can return your friendship
3. People who exhibit the very character traits that you want in yourself
Thank you for asking for my opinion.
Sandra
It’s all good.
There is a time and place for everything, every life style. What works for one is not for another. And what works for you now, will change (for change is life).
I so appreciate your insights into choices and consequences. Helping us all to think and see new perspectives and allowing all choices to exists helps us to create a more expansive universe!
I know many people who choose the vagabond lifestyle at midlife or retirement time. So be aware of the consequences you can identify and be able to handle them and be open and flexible to the consequences you don’t know will happen, and do, and life will continue to flow!
Enjoy life.
blessings
Ann
I know several military families who move around as often as their mom or dad will accept new assignments. They have lived in many different places, and they meet many different people. Some have said that they regret not being able to stay long to nurture relationships, while others report being grateful for the opportunity to learn about the world very quickly. I don’t know them very well because they always move away.
I have never lived anywhere but here in the Pikes Peak region of Colorado. My parents and grandparents are here. My 3 siblings have moved away, yet they return every Christmas. My husband and I bought our first home here. We want to travel all over the world but this will be our home base. For now, this is the plan. Relationships are important for personal and business growth. We need to know the right people to be successful, and we need to have our families close enough for emotional support and celebrating holidays.
My personal goal is to become acquainted enough with other places to return to the home base and teach others.
I think vagabonding can help you getting to know yourself because you are more likely to come into situations that push you or that you would not think of doing at home. I didnt do it in my twenties and now beginning catch up a bit traveling alone. I didnt do it earlier because i didnt had the confidence nor the upbringing that made me want to go to travel. Basically out of fear.
So if i could have given my younger self advice i would have said go! I can still do travelling (careerbreak) so there isnt written anything in stone. But where it more boils down to is: how the experiences shape the person, i think this is more important then having seen x number of things.
You can experience some of the same benefits from travelling by visiting and making friends in different social circles and being open to new experiences at home.
Concerning friendship (if you meet a lot of people, which you usually do when travelling alone) i am able to see more quickly now in which friends it is best to invest my time in (people with good personal boundaries). Then a close bond can go very quickly and it isnt superficial at all, if you meet someone with high selfesteem then the relation will be very authentic often from day 1 and it doesnt matter much wether or not you now more stuff about the person. If you are stongly involved in personal development like you then your friendships will change anyway.
The worst thing maybe at a later age when you have a more clear purpose, it may be not compatible anymore with travelling a lot.
Ben,
Definitely. I know you’ve written about the nomad lifestyle and its attractions and drawbacks before on your blog.
Sandra,
That’s definitely true–I’m more savings-conscious than most people I know.
But traveling doesn’t *need* to mean being a spendthrifty playboy. I’ve spent roughly the same amount of money in France per month as I did in Canada, despite prices being higher and doing more travel. I did that by eliminating less important things from my lifestyle and living in a cheaper apartment.
Benny Lewis, an inspiration for this post, has lived abroad for 7 years without ever being “rich”. Yes, earning your lifestyle is important and troubles will come. But they can come equally to someone at home or wandering.
That said, your argument does fit into my list of drawbacks that claim wandering reduces your ability to build wealth or a career.
-Scott
I couldn’t really imagine myself staying in my (small) hometown in France for my whole life. I think the world is too big and interesting not to explore it.
Since then, I’ve studied in Spain, and worked in US and now in Netherlands. There are drawbacks to this lifestyle, as other people pointed out: starting out a new life from scratch each time, building new relationships, no real feeling of belonging to a community (except the ever-changing expat community)…
After a few years years of living this lifestyle, I’m still considering extending it for a few years. I’m also looking how to implement some lifestyle design into my life, to be more location-independent
First posting here, so Scott, keep up with this awesome blog and have a good time in France!
Scott,
Ive been fortunate to spend 10 years each in three different countries and Im 30 this month.
One of my biggest regrets is not being more social and taking more adventures and experiences, I was always happy to go home and stick my head into my monitor screen to play games and now that Im 30, I have far too many regrets but fortunatley still have time to rectify it all. So yes, definitely take the time to breath in the cultures, the experiences of this world.
Dear Scott,
If you lived in a tribe, right around this age you’d been given a knife and sent into the jungle for 3 entire months. If you came back alive, with wounds and scares and a few tiger sculls under your belt,(=stonger and braver) you could be called a MAN .
If you lived in the middle ages, at age of 10-14 you ‘d been given a pair of shoes ( if you were lucky) and sent to learn a skill. You ‘d walked from Vienna to Prague , ask a smith if you could help him in exchange of learning the tricks of the trade. After a year he’d given you a letter of recommendation to an other smiths , could be in Brussels or Dresden, where you’d walked again, and complete an other year. You had to collect 7 of these letters from older masters, then you could go home and be a master yourself. These were called the Mastering Years.
Every mythology ( Greek, Finnish ) includes travelling as an obvious methaphor of personal improvement, experience.
Evey mythology operates with the “Chaos/Hell” and the “Order/Peace/ wellbeing/Zen/Heaven”.
Experience is tough and chaotic but then you gain knowledge and understanding.
Become a good hammersmith or a priest or once in every 10 000 years someone like Buddha of Jesus.
Development is life, disruction is death.
you improve the most when you travel = be in chaos/ jungle/ srtangers/ other continent/ when you are somewhere IN THE UNCOMFORTABLE ( like up on the wire ..)
It is in all artistic impression.( you only listed 5 movies , i have seen them…)
From the 20 th century the mythology is missing from our life and culture, and you become a MAN overnight or by a prom ceremony/ night. How does it compare to the jungle? the best you can do now is to become a Graduate.
We need to move away, physiclally , to learn, but then we need to GO BACK, and prove, use and value that experience.
so the answer is : you need to travel the world, then built your house, like Odysseus went back home to his wife……and priests went to teach.Give and use what you learned. Have children and tell them. Paint , write or sing it.
We need to create our own mythology , to add the real value to our life and live it full.
All the best in learning, I am glad, that you documenting it. Do you have grandparents? Spend time with them.
This is a very apt post for me at this point in my life!
I just got married last year – my husband came to Aus travelling, met me, and never left. So big tick to travelling there! My job came to an end in December, and we decided to take the chance and go travelling together. During the last few months we have fitted out our own campervan from an empty van, and we are about to set off around Australia.
Part of me is really looking forward to it, and part of me is slightly terrified about being so ‘free’. I also need to be doing something, so hopefully I can use this time to build my online businesses without the stress of a ‘real-world’ job.
I guess I’m hoping that the travelling will help me to meet new people and learn a lot of life lessons that I may not be able to learn while stuck in a regular job, and allow me to make the most of my remaining 20s!
Thanks for the great post, Scott!
Hi Scott,
Reflecting on my own experience, I would like to have traveled more in my college years, but I stayed at home due to the challenges in my family.
In some ways I missed out on some great travel experiences, but perhaps the reality of helping my family actually made me more compassionate and well rounded than travel would have.
Now I’m in post-grad study, I also work full time. While this makes long-term travel impossible, it gives me enough funds to travel overseas for at least a fortnight each year.
In Australia we have some chance of the “sabbatical” concept in the form of “Long Service Leave”. This is 10 weeks of leave from your employer once you’ve been with your employer for 10 years. Whether or not I’ve “earned” it, I intend to take a few months out in a few years to spend some decent time in an Asian country (Cambodia or Thailand?) to teach or do humanity work.
Nice question. Personally, I’d wonder around until I found the perfect woman to build a home with. It worked well so far, I’m 23 – wondered for 2 years, found her and next year I’m building my home.
I think it’s great that you are young and in a place where you can explore the world. A lot of your decision depends on the type of person you are and how important being surrounded by people who really know you is to you.
It’s difficult to build and maintain lasting relationships when wandering the world. You may find exploration more satisfying when you have some kind of home base set up.
Since you have flexibility you may want to travel for a shorter period of time and create a “home” afterward.
I’ve moved around considerably, including a 3 year stint abroad. I’ve managed to keep a few friends from the places I’ve lived but find it’s really hard to maintain long distance friendships.
I’ve still got a strong desire to travel but also am happy to have a stable home base.
Thank you for the post.
Perhaps for me, I’ve never considered being a permanent vagabond knowing my place at home. I’m Asian, living on the other side of the globe and family ties matter so much in that my sister and I, at age 32 and 28, still stay with our parents knowing that they will increasingly depend on us as they age. So I can’t be away permanently.
But to have the experience to stay overseas for at least a year is what I really yearn for in this phase of my life before I get married (if I ever do). I think to me, it’s not about discovering more about myself, in fact, I need to know myself enough, at least, knowing whether I will be able to stick it out when I’m overseas and not run home the moment things get tough. To me, it is the experience living in a totally different culture, meeting people vastly different from those at home, gaining what I will never gain if I continue to stay just where I am – this is why I would want to live overseas for a time period. Of course, with that, discovery of self would occur but without going overseas, self discovery should still take place. It is about discovering other people and cultures that attracts me to contemplate staying overseas.
Ultimately, I feel it’s important to have a home. I think for a vagabond, the question of “where is truly my home?” will arise sooner or later. And talking to my friends who have been travelling a lot, working in different cities, I realize they have tremendous comfort knowing that they have a home here to which they will be coming back sometime in the future. I’d like to suggest that home would be a place where you have family and friends who know you from the inside, people who have seen you through many years of your life, and hopefully, some established-friendships unlike the many superficial ones that develop in the years of travelling.
I am 27. I traveled the world and seized every opportunity in front of me. I have had the time of my life. And the reason for this is that I have followed my heart every single second of it.
Late last year I decided that I wanted to stay put for awhile, so I bought a place. I am loving this now too. It is just a matter of listening to your gut – cause then there are no regrets.
In case you’re still pondering:
There’s a great book, Kehlmann: Measuring the World (translation from German).
It was a bestseller over here in Germany. The book portrays Gauß, a mathematician who was scared of leaving his city and Humboldt, who even travelled to places no European had ever seen. Yet they both discover the world in their own way and the book made me think of exactly your question.
Great blog!
Nice Sharing, nice blog. I found this blog when i search ‘what should twenties do’ on google search engine. I have wondered it for few years already. In this field, ‘I wish i would know in my twenties’ is also good essay. I am turning to 21 years at autumn this year but i still don’t sure the thing i should do and won’t be regret in future. I am a chinese girl, studying in collegue as partime student and work on daytime in Hong Kong. Not many personal/private time and space left. Hope that i can finish it and travel abroad like you do! At the same time i want to build a home, so funny. I really know there is no guideline for my life but i am making one.
My last birthday, 20 years old birthday was celebrated in work places. I have worked and studied so hard this years. happy but tired. the drawback is forget how to play and exercise. Luckily i spend enough time with family.
Here is 20:41, 14 May in Hong Kong. i am happy to explore your blog.
[...] still unsure how to answer this question. Living Abroad and the Pursuit of the Ideal [...]
Wow… My moment exactly. Finished an Erasmus program, and with it my nursing course. Nurses are a dime a dozen in Portugal, but absorbed fast and sometimes paid their weight in gold in some other conditions – that boosts the already sweet feeling that I should travel. Family, good friends, a possible relationship and the desire to have kids are essentially what makes me think of staying put. I am now trying to figure out what I should do…
Your and most commenter’s English is quite impeccable; however it was Anna’s apparently jumbled thoughts which touched me the most: it is true, we’ve been drifting away from mythology and it’s about time we come back to it!
In me it’s quite obvious the need for traveling as a self-exploratory tool. It’s easy for me to accept it when Ben says that you can “find yourself” wherever you are, even digitally. However that works best or worse depending on who you are; I would say the most important thing in the growing-up and finding-yourself aspects was mentioned by Anna: “living up on the wire”, or getting out of your comfort zone – that’s what teaches you new skills; not forcefully traveling.
Your text and these comments already gave me plenty food for thought – Thank You! – so I will try to repay by challenging some of your thoughts.
“Do You Dabble or Commit?”… I seriously doubt you’ve been (were?) simply dabbling during your time in France, Scott. Tell me wasn’t that year much more intense than the average year back at home? For me that is also tied in with the fleeting relationships idea. Sure the relationships will be hard-pressed every time you move, but I would not say that makes them any more superficial; instead more intense! Intensity and depth are different things? I don’t know… When I am suddenly alone in a country I dive much more deeply in it. I open myself more, meet more people, take more risks, experience an increased amount of new things. I go deeper in myself and everything I touch, by being new, is absorbed with more conscience and desire. Maybe I’m just committed to dabbling…
Actually by travelling I met more people but also usually dealt with less at a time (less than I met say over 5 years living in a community) and, as an almost direct result, had deeper connections.
Touching a hint you leave in that topic: whenever “building on past successes” becomes more important to you than making new ones… it might be time to settle down.
About wandering putting other goals on hold… why so? You have been blessed with that on-the-move career. No more earlier peers leave you behind than you can make new ones. Careers and businesses grow blazingly fast online; which coincidentally is quite compatible with traveling. Sure there is a trade-of… but it doesn’t have to be related to those items.
About jobs… there was another blog that I fail to remember which explored the subject. The post was something like “Should you have a job?” and developed over the possibility of creating your own business, with several branches – so that if one dries up, the other ones continue to bring in their profit – which make it unlikely that all of your income will stop at a given moment when the competition develops a better product than yours. That would be a longer subject to explore but… seemed to make sense to me, even with the obvious attention-splitting issues.
I cannot even think of super-specializing. Knowing nearly everything about nearly nothing would make me a very grumpy old man… while feeling I know a bit of everything, sometimes just enough to improvise on it, makes me smile already. I can make an engaging public speech, build effective spears and rabbit traps with a pocket knife, design an appealing poster, market an idea, perform first-aid, review a law, build a computer from it’s parts, cook a delicious meal, mend a hole in my pants, translate between four languages… that makes me feel more useful, interested in a broad range of subjects and assures I can use different sources of income. Also pretty much guarantees I will never get bored
Biased? Hell yeah. Grab your backpack and ditch Canada asap.
quote : You may enjoy years of travel, but wake up in your early thirties to discover many of your earlier peers have left you behind. They have bigger careers or businesses.
This is really a scaring thing to consider traveling on a long term basis……
Would it be true that process of life want different period of experience. For a period, one might like traveling elsewhere……but then after some years, might like settle down for some years, followed by some years of other different lifestyle……
I would admit that Maintaining one type of lifestyle or way to live for long, would be bored……
however, there might be other constraint that prevent us to change to different way of living……eg, having a family with kids……
How life run, partly planned by human, partly in a rail planned by god……
Alf.
Are you *sure* you’re only 22? An online friend pointed me in this direction, and I nearly didn’t click the link when she said you were 19 (I think she was speed reading a bit too fast, lol)…. well, I’ve just been reading The Four Hour Working Week, and you’ve comprehensively covered lots of issues that Timmy boy, much as I admire him, has completely ignored. Thank you for that, its good to know that someone else is wondering about this stuff ….
Trouble is, I’m now going to have explore your whole blog …..