{"id":15475,"date":"2023-10-03T14:19:28","date_gmt":"2023-10-03T22:19:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/?p=15475"},"modified":"2024-01-26T06:31:51","modified_gmt":"2024-01-26T14:31:51","slug":"18-life-lessons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2023\/10\/03\/18-life-lessons\/","title":{"rendered":"18 Life Lessons I\u2019d Give My 18-Year-Old Self"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I started writing this blog when I was a few months shy of 18 years old. Since I\u2019m now twice as old as I was when I started, I thought I\u2019d take some time to reflect on advice I wish I could have given my younger self.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"512\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Looking-ocean-18-life-lessons-1024x512.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-15476\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Looking-ocean-18-life-lessons-1024x512.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Looking-ocean-18-life-lessons-300x150.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Looking-ocean-18-life-lessons-768x384.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Looking-ocean-18-life-lessons-1536x768.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/Looking-ocean-18-life-lessons.jpg 1600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. You\u2019ll have more dating success if you strive to be relaxed rather than confident.<\/h4>\n<div class=\"inline-podcast\">\n<small>Listen to this article<\/small><br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"100%\" height=\"20\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" allow=\"autoplay\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?url=https%3A\/\/api.soundcloud.com\/tracks\/1679166360&#038;color=%23219895&#038;inverse=false&#038;auto_play=false&#038;show_user=true\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p>Most dating advice for young men is terrible. One of the most misunderstood is the recommendation to \u201cact confident.\u201d Pretending to be confident when you\u2019re not usually makes you look like a jerk or a buffoon. In contrast, genuinely confident people tend to be relaxed.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. Make friends with the exchange students.<\/h4>\n<p>People who deliberately choose to live abroad for a year are more interesting, on average, than those who are closed to such experiences. Exchange students also tend to be looking to make friends. (This also is a good way to get more opportunities to apply lesson #3.)<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Say yes to invitations to visit a friend in their home country whenever possible.<\/h4>\n<p>Being shown around by a local is vastly better than being a tourist. This is doubly true if you make friends with people from non-touristy places.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. Learn how to cook.<\/h4>\n<p>I spent too many years eating terrible food because I didn\u2019t know how to make good meals. The remedy is to find recipes online and follow them to the letter. Eventually you can improvise once you\u2019ve learned the basics.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">5. Optimize for experience, not grades, in college.<\/h4>\n<p>My biggest mistake in university was choosing to take classes in English, not French, during my year abroad. I was worried I wouldn\u2019t keep up academically, so I chose the easier option. I didn\u2019t realize I was also missing out on the best way to learn the language.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">6. Go to more parties, but drink less.<\/h4>\n<p>Drinking has strongly diminishing returns for enjoyment, and hangovers are not fun. Thus, if you\u2019re going to partake, pick a strict cutoff and stop when you hit that amount. You\u2019ll enjoy more parties with fewer headaches.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">7. Learn to separate challenging situations from toxic ones, and don\u2019t feel guilty abandoning the latter.<\/h4>\n<p>You won\u2019t regret sticking to hard challenges, but you\u2019ll regret burning yourself out in situations where your values don\u2019t align with what you\u2019re being asked to work on.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">8. Learn to recognize assholes and refuse to deal with them.<\/h4>\n<p>Assholes often seem cool, successful or important. In the short term, it often feels like you should just put up with their personalities to further your goals. But in the long-term, you\u2019ll almost always regret not cutting them loose sooner.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">9. Never date a person you wouldn\u2019t also be friends with.<\/h4>\n<p>It\u2019s easy to overlook personality differences when enthralled by a person\u2019s more superficial characteristics. But those relationships rarely work out. My wife and I, who have now been together for nine years, were just friends for eight years before that.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">10. Avoid premature optimization.<\/h4>\n<p>When you\u2019re young and broke, a job that pays a lot of money (to you) can be very attractive. Unfortunately, if that job doesn\u2019t help you build skills you\u2019ll care about when you\u2019re middle-aged, you may be better off declining the opportunity for a lower-paying job that does. While you need money to live, resist the temptation to cash in early.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">11. It\u2019s okay to be (a little) weirder as an adult.<\/h4>\n<p>High school enforces an unusually high degree of conformity. In high school, even \u201cweird\u201d kids tend to conform to a particular clique rather than be genuinely interesting. Outside of high school, however, there are fewer penalties for being a little different, and there is more potential upside as there is a larger pool of potential friends whose interests may overlap with yours.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">12. Don\u2019t waste your electives on \u201ceasy\u201d classes.<\/h4>\n<p>Depending on your major, you may only have a handful of classes that you can choose for yourself. Don\u2019t waste these! Take interesting classes from different departments rather than the easy-A class that teaches you Microsoft Word.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">13. Spend less time on your computer and more time at in-person events.<\/h4>\n<p>It\u2019s even better if those events have nothing to do with your current friends or interests. Bulk-positive randomness is a powerful force, but it can\u2019t move you if you stay inside your dorm room.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">14. Ask yourself what a more extraverted version of you would do, and then do that. <\/h4>\n<p>Introversion is great when you\u2019re settled into a job and family life. But when you\u2019re young, exploring the maximum possible options for your future is important, so striving to be a more extraverted version of yourself is generally desirable.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">15. Travel as much as you can.<\/h4>\n<p>Yes, traveling can be expensive. But you\u2019ll never be able to travel as cheaply, or have as many interesting experiences, as you can when you\u2019re young.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">16. Press your clothes, comb your hair and wash your face.<\/h4>\n<p>I\u2019ll admit my appearance has never been something I\u2019ve thought a lot about. But getting the basics right is usually not too onerous, and they matter a lot more for how people see you than how much money you spend on your clothes or how much you work out at the gym.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">17. Don\u2019t be so dogmatic. <\/h4>\n<p>I\u2019ve softened in many ways as I\u2019ve gotten older. While youthful intensity about beliefs, goals or projects can be incredibly valuable, it can also get in the way of having new experiences. It\u2019s better to avoid being too rigid when you don\u2019t yet know which ideas of yours really ought to be inviolable.<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">18. Call your parents more often.<\/h4>\n<p>Since becoming a father, I\u2019ve come to appreciate my own parents in a way that would have been difficult to understand as an eighteen-year-old. While it\u2019s easy to get absorbed in your own new experiences of adulthood, it\u2019s worth taking some time to keep up the relationships that have been with you all your life.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>What advice would you give your younger self? Any agreements\/disagreements with my list? Share your thoughts in the comments!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Since I\u2019m now twice as old as I was when I started this blog, I thought I\u2019d take some time to reflect on advice I wish I could have given my younger self.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-15475","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-personal-development","7":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - 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