{"id":17419,"date":"2025-06-25T13:42:56","date_gmt":"2025-06-25T21:42:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/?p=17419"},"modified":"2025-11-13T11:19:50","modified_gmt":"2025-11-13T19:19:50","slug":"connection-month-end","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/06\/25\/connection-month-end\/","title":{"rendered":"Connection &#8211; Month-End"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m wrapping up the ninth month of my year-long <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/myprojects\/foundations-project\/\">Foundations<\/a> project. This month\u2019s focus was <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/06\/03\/connection-day-one\/\">connection<\/a>, or improving the most important relationships in life.<\/p>\n<p>The keystone habit for this month was avoiding phones and devices while spending time with friends and family. While there are many different habits that can have an impact on your relationships, simply being more present and attentive is certainly at the top of the list.<\/p>\n<p>For those interested in my previous months\u2019 efforts, you can read more here:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Fitness: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2024\/10\/01\/foundations-fitness-day-1\/\">Start<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2024\/10\/31\/fitness-month-end-update\/\">End<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2024\/10\/22\/what-i-learned-about-getting-in-shape-after-reading-13-books-this-month\/\">Books<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Productivity: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2024\/11\/06\/productivity-opening-update\/\">Start<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2024\/11\/29\/productivity-end\/\">End<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2024\/11\/19\/10-important-books-productivity\/\">Books<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Money: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2024\/12\/03\/money-day-one\/\">Start<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2024\/12\/31\/money-month-end\/\">End<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2024\/12\/17\/10-books-money\/\">Books<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Food: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/01\/06\/food-opening-update\/\">Start<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/02\/04\/food-month-end-update\/\">End<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/01\/13\/what-i-learned-and-unlearned-reading-10-books-on-nutrition\/\">Books<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Reading: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/02\/11\/reading-open\/\">Start<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/02\/25\/reflections-on-a-month-for-reading\/\">End and Books<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Outreach: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/03\/04\/outreach-day-one\/\">Start<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/03\/27\/outreach-month-end-update\/\">End<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/03\/18\/8-books-on-making-friends\/\">Books<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Sleep: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/04\/02\/sleep-day-one\/\">Start<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/04\/29\/sleep-month-end-update\/\">End<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/04\/22\/sleep-books\/\">Books<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Reflection: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/05\/05\/reflection-day-one\/\">Start<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/05\/27\/reflection-month-end-update\/\">End<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/05\/20\/reflection-books\/\">Books<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Connection: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/06\/03\/connection-day-one\/\">Start<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/06\/17\/7-books-relationships\/\">Books<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Lessons on the Value of Connection<\/h2>\n<p>From the usual perspective of this project, this month was difficult. I got quite sick for almost an entire week, after which I had a one-week vacation planned. As a result, I read fewer books for my Foundations project this month than almost any other month.<\/p>\n<p>Still, from the perspective of this month\u2019s focus, my illness was actually opportune. Being sick put me in temporary isolation from my family as I tried to avoid spreading it to them before our planned trip. This simultaneously made me more dependent on my wife and more appreciative of how much she had to shoulder looking after the kids alone. \u2028\u2028It doesn\u2019t take much to shatter one\u2019s illusions of total self-sufficiency, and I was grateful for the opportunity to reflect on how much I depend on the close relationships I have.<\/p>\n<p>Getting sick was followed by our family vacation, which gave me a chance to take a week off of work (and reading) in order to spend time with my wife, kids, parents and in-laws, and I felt grateful for the chance to shift away from thinking about work and to focus entirely on the people in my life.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Connection and Connectivity<\/h2>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Foundations Conversation Month 9 Update - Connection\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ejxWQH5vfy0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<p>The keystone habit of not having my phone nearby during family hours was deceptively hard. The habit to check the news, weather or just look at something when there\u2019s a blank moment is so impulsive you often don\u2019t realize you\u2019re doing it until you\u2019re already distracted. Keeping the phone out of arm\u2019s reach is key, and I\u2019m embarrassed to admit that this wasn\u2019t my habit until now.<\/p>\n<p>Still, if I do have my phone with me (such as when heading out of the house), I can still fall into the same trap of giving it a \u201cquick look\u201d during those normal lulls in conversations or activities, so some work on this will likely be ongoing.<\/p>\n<p>My work on this particular habit over the month also made me realize that being present in interactions with loved ones isn\u2019t a binary yes\/no. It\u2019s an entire spectrum of attentiveness, from simply being in the same room to listening empathetically and without an agenda. In some ways, it reminds me a bit of mindfulness practices, which have a similar spectrum ranging from being absorbed in some stream of thought all the way to being completely engaged in the present moment.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s also this work that has made me realize that I\u2019m not as far along the attentiveness spectrum as I could be. While avoiding devices when spending time with family is a good start, I could do a lot more to really listen and be present. Still, it\u2019s good to sense the space for potential improvement rather than believe you\u2019ve already got it all figured out.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Updates on Previous Foundations<\/h2>\n<p>Most of the foundations I\u2019ve worked on so far have been maintaining fairly steady\u2014productivity, money, reading and reflection.<\/p>\n<p>Being sick for a week meant my first week off exercising since the project began. Vacation eating was definitely more indulgent than my usual diet at home, but I managed to run nearly every day while away and even went surfing a few times\u2014which I haven\u2019t done in almost a decade. My sleep was unusually good this month, although the circumstances were not typical.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s still too early to predict the long-term shape of any of these foundations, but the overall pattern for each seems to be that there has been a large boost in knowledge from doing all the reading, and the basic keystone habit for each has been sticking, more or less. However, many of the auxiliary behaviors start to slip once they\u2019re no longer my central focus for the month.<\/p>\n<p>\u2028I mention this because I think it pretty accurately describes how most improvement works long-term: a mix of stable improvements due to increased skill and knowledge; a brief, temporary improvement due to focus; followed by a more subtle increase of the overall baseline.<\/p>\n<p>Occasionally you can experience really radical changes, but I think those tend to occur when there\u2019s a dramatic shift in priorities that accompanies the efforts. Still, getting +1 to your overall habits in an area is an improvement worth striving for, so I think it\u2019s important to set expectations right, especially for people who are likely to see anything other than perfect adherence as failure.<\/p>\n<p>_ _ _<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s it for this month. Next month\u2019s foundation is focus. I\u2019ll share some of my preliminary updates in next week\u2019s post!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Reflections on my month-long focus on improving my relationships, including a special conversation with my wife.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-17419","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-personal-development","7":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Connection - Month-End - Scott H Young<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/06\/25\/connection-month-end\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Connection - Month-End - Scott H Young\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Reflections on my month-long focus on improving my relationships, including a special conversation with my wife.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2025\/06\/25\/connection-month-end\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Scott H Young\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/AuthorScottYoung\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-06-25T21:42:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-11-13T19:19:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Scott Young\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@scotthyoung\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@scotthyoung\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Scott Young\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.scotthyoung.com\\\/blog\\\/2025\\\/06\\\/25\\\/connection-month-end\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.scotthyoung.com\\\/blog\\\/2025\\\/06\\\/25\\\/connection-month-end\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Scott Young\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.scotthyoung.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/9904804296dddc70b5fdedde997fd92e\"},\"headline\":\"Connection &#8211; 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