{"id":653,"date":"2008-03-18T10:00:48","date_gmt":"2008-03-18T17:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2008\/03\/18\/12-speaking-errors-that-make-you-sound-stupid\/"},"modified":"2019-05-06T04:43:34","modified_gmt":"2019-05-06T12:43:34","slug":"12-speaking-errors-that-make-you-sound-stupid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2008\/03\/18\/12-speaking-errors-that-make-you-sound-stupid\/","title":{"rendered":"12 Speaking Errors That Make You Sound Dumb"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"GeorgeBush.png\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Recently I\u2019ve taken on a daunting personal challenge: completely debugging my speaking habits<\/em>. Not just public speaking on stage, but fixing glitches when I talk during conversations. These speaking glitches may seem minor, but when they add up, they make you harder to understand, less assertive and can even make you sound stupid.<\/p>\n

The Big 12 Speaking Errors<\/h2>\n

The amount of speaking errors you can make are endless. There are situations where these \u201cerrors\u201d can be used effectively. But 90% of the time, they are just wasteful. Here are twelve I\u2019m trying to overcome:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Um\u2019s and Ah\u2019s<\/strong>. When you are temporarily lost for words, do you take a brief pause or insert an \u201cum\u201d into dead air. In public speaking these filler sounds are known as crutch words. If you\u2019ve ever watched a TV show, you\u2019ll notice that these crutch words are missing from dialog. There\u2019s a reason: crutch words make you sound dumb.<\/li>\n
  2. \u201cYou know\u201d & Like<\/strong>. Close cousins to the crutch words are the infamous \u201clike\u201d and \u201cyou know\u201d. I rarely use these two, but I have friends that can\u2019t go three sentences without appending a \u201clike\u201d to the beginning of a sentence. Not good if you want people to take what you say seriously.<\/li>\n
  3. Not Taking Enough Pauses<\/strong>. Are you the kind of person who has 30-minute uninterrupted monologues? Taking pauses in your speaking allows you to emphasize key points. If you avoid pauses, it makes you more difficult to follow and sound less assertive.<\/li>\n
  4. Curse Words<\/strong>. Dropping the occasional f-bomb can add a double underline to what you need to say. But too often it’s just wasteful and offensive. I\u2019ll admit that I can be bad for this, depending on the group I\u2019m with. Reducing this is something I\u2019d like to focus on.<\/li>\n
  5. Using $10 Words<\/strong>. Don\u2019t use big words when simpler words can do. One of the disadvantages of having a big vocabulary is you feel the desire to inflict it on everybody. Great speakers use shorter words when they fill the same purpose as a large one. (I\u2019ll admit my writing could probably use a better application of this rule as well)<\/li>\n
  6. Talking Too Fast<\/strong>. Unless you are announcing an auction, you don\u2019t need to talk quickly. Talking to quickly shows that you lack confidence in yourself, otherwise you wouldn\u2019t worry about people interrupting you for talking to slowly.<\/li>\n
  7. Dragging Out Stories<\/strong>. Unless I know what you\u2019re trying to say within the first 15 seconds, I\u2019ll tune you out. Starting your stories with lengthy preambles will cause people to lose interest.<\/li>\n
  8. Self-Bashing<\/strong>. Self-effacing humor can be funny. But where do you draw the line between lightening the mood and showing you lack confidence? Unless it works into a great joke, informing people of your flaws is only good for highlighting them.<\/li>\n
  9. Bragging<\/strong>. Self-bashing\u2019s ugly cousin. Bragging doesn\u2019t make you seem confident. It makes you seem like a jackass. Truly confident people don\u2019t feel the urge to trumpet their accomplishments. Let other people brag about you, don\u2019t do it for them.<\/li>\n
  10. Not Focusing on One Conversation<\/strong>. If you are having a conversation, focus on the other person. Don\u2019t think about what you need to do the next day. Don\u2019t think about other people you want to talk with. Don\u2019t just wait for your turn to speak. If you focus and listen, other people will do the same.<\/li>\n
  11. Forgetting Who Knows Who<\/strong>. Don\u2019t tell a story about your friend Brad if the person you\u2019re talking with doesn\u2019t know Brad. If I need to know who Brad is to understand why the story is interesting, don\u2019t bother sharing.<\/li>\n
  12. Talking Too Much About Yourself<\/strong>. Unlike the first 11, this one is true only in excess. Talking about yourself can be a great way to connect with others. But if you spend more than 2\/3 of your time chatting about yourself, it only shows you\u2019re self-centered.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Debugging the Errors<\/h2>\n

    The problem with fixing most of these speaking glitches is that they happen automatically. The errors creep into your conversations before you realize it. Unless you actually counted it, you\u2019d probably be amazed at the amount of times you say \u201cum\u201d or \u201cah\u201d in a twenty minute conversation.<\/p>\n

    Simply trying to use willpower to curb these errors isn\u2019t enough. Getting rid of these errors from your day-to-day communication requires a completely different approach.<\/p>\n

    Normal Habit Changing Methods Don\u2019t Work<\/h2>\n

    My first reaction to fix these speaking errors was to use a 30 Day Trial. This is my default method for changing habits, and I assumed it would work here as well. Unfortunately, after a few failed trials, I realized that this approach wouldn\u2019t work. The chance of making a mistake was too high to commit for 30 Days. While it isn\u2019t too hard to commit to going to the gym for a month, it is painfully difficult to try to avoid any verbal crutches for the entire 30 days.<\/p>\n

    In the last few weeks, however, I\u2019ve been experimenting with a better method. Piecing together this method from great improvement thinkers like Tim Ferriss and Tony Robbins, I call them rubber band trials.<\/p>\n

    Rubber Band Trials<\/h2>\n

    The rubber band trial is fairly simple:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Keep a rubber band around your wrist.<\/li>\n
    2. Every time you make a communication error, you switch the rubber band onto your opposite wrist.<\/li>\n
    3. If you can go seven days with the band staying on the same wrist, you\u2019re finished.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      My current trial is to remove um\u2019s and ah\u2019s from my speech. The first day of my trial I had to switch the band between wrists twice. The furthest I\u2019ve gone is six days without making a glitch. I\u2019m up to four on my current run.<\/p>\n

      This method works well for targeting communication because it is hard not to forget the rubber band. Whenever you catch yourself making an error, you can easily switch the band over. Considering how common many of these errors are, it will probably take a few days before you learn how to keep them from slipping out.<\/p>\n

      I’m still doing a lot of experimenting with this technique, so it will probably be a few months before I can provide any comprehensive advice on the method. But, so far it seems promising as a way to debug how you talk, listen and think.<\/p>\n

      The Goal of Improved Communication<\/h2>\n

      Once you start a rubber band trial, you become acutely aware of how many communication errors most people make. Within a few days of the trial beginning, I could point out every \u201cum\u201d or \u201cah\u201d made in a conversation. When you realize how many of these little glitches you make constantly, the goal of improved communication becomes much more important.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Recently I\u2019ve taken on a daunting personal challenge: completely debugging my speaking habits. Not just public speaking on stage, but fixing glitches when I talk during conversations. These speaking glitches may seem minor, but when they add up, they make you harder to understand, less assertive and can even make you sound stupid. The Big […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[682,15],"tags":[39],"class_list":{"0":"post-653","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-nc-learning","7":"category-communication","8":"tag-social","9":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n12 Speaking Errors That Make You Sound Dumb - Scott H Young<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Speaking errors are not only annoying, the can also make you harder to understand. 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