{"id":9298,"date":"2019-05-06T08:09:45","date_gmt":"2019-05-06T16:09:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/?p=9298"},"modified":"2019-11-22T00:02:30","modified_gmt":"2019-11-22T08:02:30","slug":"imposter-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2019\/05\/06\/imposter-syndrome\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Feeling Like an Imposter"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Impostor_syndrome\">Imposter syndrome<\/a> is the feeling that your achievements don\u2019t matter. That you only scraped by because of luck or by fooling others into believing in you. You feel deep insecurity about your work and accomplishments, always anxious that you\u2019ll be exposed as a fraud.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"208\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/fake.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9301\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/fake.png 800w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/fake-300x78.png 300w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/fake-768x200.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n<p>While arrogance isn&#8217;t good, I think impostor syndrome is far more prevalent than most of us realize. This is because the fear of being \u201cfound out\u201d causes those who suffer from it to languish in silence. They don\u2019t want to admit their insecurities for fear that this may trigger the revelation of their \u201ctrue\u201d worthlessness for all to see.<\/p>\n<p>Impostor syndrome doesn\u2019t just strike those who are high-achieving, but can hit even people who have more modest success.<\/p>\n<p>It also seems to impact women more at higher rates than men, which makes sense if you don\u2019t see yourself as fitting the stereotypical image of what a \u201csuccessful person\u201d looks like in your field. <\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">My Own Struggles with Insecurity<\/h2>\n<div class=\"inline-podcast\">\n<small>Listen to this article<\/small><br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"100%\" height=\"20\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" allow=\"autoplay\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?url=https%3A\/\/api.soundcloud.com\/tracks\/714494503&#038;color=%23219895&#038;inverse=false&#038;auto_play=false&#038;show_user=true\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p>There\u2019s some irony in writing this post because rather than being brimming with self-confidence, this is definitely a feeling I struggle with daily. Indeed, I feel awkward writing about it, as if admitting my own insecurities might somehow bolster proof of my own inadequacy in the eyes of others.<\/p>\n<p>However, if I step back, I can notice a pattern in my own life. I start by looking at someone else who has achieved something, I will compare myself to such a person and imagine that they are successful, while I am not. <\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"363\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/before-achievement.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9302\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/before-achievement.png 800w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/before-achievement-300x136.png 300w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/before-achievement-768x348.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n<p>Later, if I happen to reach the same benchmark, what I did now feels trivial, and there\u2019s a new standard that needs to be reached if I can qualify as having accomplished something.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"558\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/after-achievement.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9303\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/after-achievement.png 800w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/after-achievement-300x209.png 300w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/after-achievement-768x536.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n<p>Publicly, I\u2019ve learned to suppress this instinct somewhat, but I find it dominates a lot of my private thoughts and feelings.<\/p>\n<p>An example would be language learning. When I <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/2009\/06\/09\/update-on-my-goal-to-learn-french\/\">first started learning French<\/a>, I was in awe of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.fluentin3months.com\/\">Benny Lewis<\/a> and his ability to speak several languages. Later, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/myprojects\/the-year-without-english-2\/\">when I did so for myself<\/a>, the achievement no longer felt special, but simply trivial. <\/p>\n<p>Now, my feeling is an anxiety that my level might not be good enough. While I would have previously considered holding extended conversations to be \u201cgood enough,\u201d now I felt like it was inadequate compared to complete fluency\u2014I should be able to understand everything perfectly and speak without mistakes.<\/p>\n<p>This pattern\u2014finding something special, reaching it, and then immediately discounting that as not being a \u201ctrue\u201d accomplishment\u2014is something I\u2019ve found pervasive in my own life. Perhaps it is a pattern you notice in yourself as well.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s nothing wrong with setting harder goals. The problem with impostor syndrome is that you erase your own past progress by changing your standards to put it &#8220;below&#8221; what you consider successful.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why Do Successful People Often Feel Like Failures?<\/h2>\n<p>To understand impostor syndrome, we need to look at what can cause it. This isn&#8217;t an exhaustive list, but here are two big factors that distort your thinking about yourself<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Factor #1: Achievements are Objective Yet Feel Relative<\/h3>\n<p>Let\u2019s start with the first factor: relative status.<\/p>\n<p>Intuitively, it\u2019s easy to step outside and take a birds-eye view of any field of achievement. From there, you can rank people on their overall level of success. Within a company, there is entry level, manager, vice president, C-level executive. Academia has masters, PhDs, professors and prize-winning researchers. Athletics has regional, national, Olympic and world-record performers.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"424\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/status-ladder.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9299\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/status-ladder.png 800w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/status-ladder-300x159.png 300w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/status-ladder-768x407.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n<p>However, in reality, we\u2019re much less sensitive to this absolute scale of excellence than we are to our relative position within it. As such, we see the rungs above us and below us in much greater detail and conscious awareness than those which are quite distant.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"583\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/status-ladder-relative.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/status-ladder-relative.png 800w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/status-ladder-relative-300x219.png 300w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/status-ladder-relative-768x560.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n<p>For me, all the rungs of achievement much above me are far enough away that I can basically ignore them. Authors who are world-famous. Linguists who\u2019ve mastered 40 languages. Polymaths who were recognized for their brilliance in many subjects. These accomplishments are so beyond what I\u2019ve experienced, that they don\u2019t cause me any anxiety at all.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Insecurity Comes from Magnifying the Levels Just Above You<\/h3>\n<p>However, I am more aware of people who are slightly above me in the rank. When it comes to topic expertise, therefore, I compare myself unfavorably to those who have studied subjects deeply in grad school. I compare myself to people who run \u201creal\u201d businesses with dozens of employees. I compare myself to people who speak a language I know fluently, instead of my intermediate level.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"320\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/progress-perception.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9305\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/progress-perception.png 800w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/progress-perception-300x120.png 300w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/progress-perception-768x307.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n<p>The problem is that once you go up one rank, the rank above that suddenly snaps into view. When I went from a solo business to a team, immediately that new accomplishment became the baseline and my comparison grew. If I were to get a PhD in something, I\u2019d become immediately aware of the difference I had with tenured professors or recognized experts.<\/p>\n<p>In short, our relative status perception means that there\u2019s always a clearly-defined rung above us and below.<strong> Insecurity therefore, can come from an over-emphasis on the rung above you, rather than recognizing the rungs you\u2019ve already climbed <\/strong>and the successes you\u2019ve already surpassed.<\/p>\n<p>Where imposter syndrome differs from this, is that it tends to make even the current rung seem untenable. The position you\u2019ve reached was through luck, circumstance or because others incorrectly perceived you to have done something impressive. Therefore, there\u2019s a constant fear that you\u2019ll slide back to earlier rungs or fall off the ladder altogether in a spectacular crash.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Factor #2: Invisibility of Insecurity<\/h3>\n<p>Another contributing factor to imposter syndrome is that you may not be aware that other people are experiencing it. The fact that others seem so confident, secure and full of self-esteem may reinforce your belief that your own doubts are proof of your illegitimacy.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"441\" src=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/invisible-insecurity-1.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9306\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/invisible-insecurity-1.png 800w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/invisible-insecurity-1-300x165.png 300w, https:\/\/www.scotthyoung.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/invisible-insecurity-1-768x423.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n<p>When asked how many of their peers have had sex or <a href=\"https:\/\/consumer.healthday.com\/general-health-information-16\/alcohol-abuse-news-12\/college-students-overestimate-peers-drinking-528146.html\">how much alcohol they drink<\/a>, college students grossly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scientificamerican.com\/article\/students-today-hook-up-no-more-than-parents-college\/\">overestimate the promiscuity<\/a> and partying of their peers. Everyone else, it seems, is having a raucous time and it\u2019s just you who is alone and boring.<\/p>\n<p>This overestimation seems to be from an <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Availability_heuristic\">availability heuristic<\/a>. The people who seem to be having wild fun are highly visible, whereas those staying at home studying are not. Therefore, we overestimate their occurrence.<\/p>\n<p>This may also lead to some depression, especially if you think having fun and going on lots of dates is an important goal in your student days. It feels like you\u2019re the only one, and thus your insecurities deepen. If you could see the reality (most people aren\u2019t getting laid and partying as much as you think) then you\u2019d probably feel more secure in yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Similarly, if you could enter into the private lives of many successful people, and see how they struggle with their insecurities or worries that they may have reached levels of success exceeding their merit, you\u2019d probably be reassured that your own feelings are normal. Yet confident people are highly visible, those who struggle with doubts keep their mouths shut.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Overcoming Your Imposter Syndrome<\/h2>\n<p>I think the first step to overcoming your own insecurities is to realize how normal they actually are. That much of the seeming confidence and bravado people display is really thinly covering up their own doubts about themselves. <\/p>\n<p>Once you see self-doubt and insecurity, not as a unique disorder you exhibit, but something that impacts many people, it\u2019s a lot easier to get comfortable with those feelings.<\/p>\n<p>Another useful tip from me has been to read successful people\u2019s biographies. The reason is that you\u2019d be surprised how many extremely successful people spent their whole lives grappling with intense self-doubt and insecurities. Famed poet, <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Maya_Angelou\">Maya Angelou<\/a> once wrote:<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>&#8220;I have written 11 books, but each time I think, &#8216;Uh oh, they&#8217;re going to find out now. I&#8217;ve run a game on everybody, and they&#8217;re going to find me out.\u2019&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Next is to consciously adjust your fixation away from that rung of the achievement ladder immediately in front of you. It may not be habitual, but focus on the rungs you\u2019ve already climbed and the difficulties that came with them. This can avoid the temptation to write down your past achievements as being trivial and the ones in front of you as being those that truly matter.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, I would recommend taking a softer view when evaluating the works and accomplishments of others. Attack and criticize others constantly, and you&#8217;ll end up attacking yourself. When you start exaggerating the flaws of others, your own will seem to be magnified as well. <\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know of any bulletproof cure that will immediately fill you with lasting confidence in yourself. I\u2019m not sure if one existed it would necessarily be a good idea to use it too often. But, moderating your own tendency to discount your achievements and feel more comfortable in the position you\u2019ve reached is something we can all aim for.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Imposter syndrome is the feeling that your achievements don\u2019t matter. That you only scraped by because of luck or by fooling others into believing in you. You feel deep insecurity about your work and accomplishments, always anxious that you\u2019ll be exposed as a fraud. While arrogance isn&#8217;t good, I think impostor syndrome is far more [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[681],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-9298","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-nc-mindset","7":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Stop Feeling Like an Imposter - Scott H Young<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Impostor syndrome is the constant insecurity that your accomplishments don&#039;t matter, and you&#039;ll be exposed as a fraud. 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