A lot of classic goal-setting advice is about changing the constraints of your life. Don\u2019t like your job? Quit and find something else. Don\u2019t have enough money? Earn more. Unsatisfied with your love life? Go meet new people.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t think any of this advice is necessarily bad. But, just as working to change the constraints of your life is important, it\u2019s even more important to learn how to live within the constraints of your life. Enjoy your job while you work there, or at least manage the stress. Change your lifestyle to spend within your income. Be happy with your partner, or be happy in solitude.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s unfortunate that so much advice is coached as a choice between these two alternatives. Either you\u2019re an ambitious go-getter who will do whatever it takes, or you\u2019ve settled and found contentment. Why can\u2019t you have both?<\/p>\n
Ambition and goal-setting are skills. It\u2019s a skill to organize the urges and inertia in your life and apply it towards achieving what you want. If you lack this skill, it\u2019s too easy to become discouraged, frustrated, burnt out or lost.<\/p>\n
But just as ambition is a skill, so is contentment. It\u2019s a skill to look at all the constraints of your life, and find a way to not just put up with them, but to savor them.<\/p>\n
A haiku requires a 5-7-5 combination of syllables. Therefore, it is often more difficult to create a haiku than a poem free of restrictions. But those restrictions can also make it more appealing.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, these two skills are often labeled as polar opposites: you\u2019re either ambitious or content. I think, instead, that you can work on both skills simultaneously. You can practice the art of living within the constraints, while still investing energy to reinvent them.<\/p>\n
In the past, I\u2019ve made the mistake of seeing my life too much in the future. When I have fixed my money constraint, that\u2019s when I\u2019ll be happy. When I\u2019ve changed my relationship constraint, that will make me satisfied. Unfortunately, I was confusing the two skills: I thought ambition would bring me satisfaction, and contentment would bring me enthusiasm.<\/p>\n
The adventure isn\u2019t overseas, with someone else or in the future. It\u2019s right now, and you\u2019re living it.<\/p>\n
Contentment is a skill, so I believe it requires practice and creativity. A master painter is better able to work within the constraints of color choice, subject and style than an amateur.<\/p>\n
Aside from the bare essentials, few things are genuine needs. Our wants often become so familiar that they become needs. Do you need a car, house, or even electricity? What about the billions of people who live without them?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not suggesting that everyone should become wandering ascetics. Just that the more you view your \u201cwants\u201d as absolute necessities, the harder it is to live within changing constraints. Many Stoic writers advocated taking temporary poverty, not because poverty is necessarily better, but because it would remove your fear of it and the attachment you have to material wealth.<\/p>\n
A more practical approach for the 21st century could simply be taking a few days or weeks out of the year to go without. Live outdoors for a week, temporarily eliminate pre-processed foods, or even just shut off the internet for a few days.<\/p>\n
If contentment is the skill for deriving pleasure from life, ambition is a skill for deriving enthusiasm and energy. Don\u2019t confuse the two by trying to use ambition and goal-setting as a fix for your lack of contentment. If you aren\u2019t happy now, in most situations achieving any particular goal won\u2019t fix that.<\/p>\n
Work within the constraints first, then try to change them. Since, if the constraints aren\u2019t the problem, you\u2019re going to hit a dead-end chasing for happiness. Set goals to bring challenge, enthusiasm and a new adventure, not as a substitute for enjoying the present.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A lot of classic goal-setting advice is about changing the constraints of your life. Don\u2019t like your job? Quit and find something else. Don\u2019t have enough money? Earn more. Unsatisfied with your love life? Go meet new people. I don\u2019t think any of this advice is necessarily bad. But, just as working to change the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[4,13,680],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-985","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-goal-setting","7":"category-happiness","8":"category-nc-productivity","9":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n