In my recent [1] essays [2], I made two claims:
- There are behaviors, such as exercise, that clearly pass a cost-benefit test in making our lives better, and most of us would benefit from doing them more. Using some of the published data, I showed this is the case, even if you restrict the benefits to just a single measure (trading time spent exercising now to live longer later), and even if you dislike exercising.
- Our inconsistency with these behaviors is not a problem of willpower. These are opportunities, not problems. There currently exist low-hanging fruit that could make our lives better without much cost. The difficulty isn’t one of character (which tends to encourage guilt and rationalization), but one of engineering. We need to design ways to make maintaining these behaviors consistent and stable.
Today, I want to go into some of the research on how the design of good behavioral systems actually works. But first, I have to explain a bit of what I initially got wrong.
How I Was Wrong About Habits
Habits were one of the first topics I tackled two decades ago when I first started writing. I was young and enthusiastic—and not at all versed in reading scientific papers. So most of my theories came from self-help and self-experimentation.
In particular, I subscribed to some common ideas about habits:
- Habits are mostly about repetition and consistency.
- A new habit can be formed in thirty days.
- Once formed, a habit is automatic and effortless.
- To build a habit, it’s important to maintain an uninterrupted streak. Don’t break the chain!
I now think all four of these ideas are wrong. I’m still a big believer in habits, but I think the actual data on how people sustain behavioral change is more interesting than my original ideas permitted.
Debunking My Past Beliefs
Let’s start with the last claim: that missing a single day can unravel a habit. I’m not sure where I first got this idea, but it might owe to some of the stereotype about addiction recovery—where a single mistake can throw you “off the wagon” and undermine your resolve.
Fortunately, research doesn’t back this up. In one study [3], they found that missing a day was associated with a little less automaticity—but not devastating relapse. This is about what you’d expect if you have the mental model that each repetition adds a little to habit strength; missing a day fails to strengthen the habit, but it isn’t fatal to the overall goal.
The belief that habits require perfect consistency might be a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, if you believe that you’ve completely failed when you miss a single day, that belief might cause your habit to break down rather than any underlying failure or flaw of your habits themselves.
Which leads to the third claim: that habits, once formed, operate without any continued effort. The authors of the same study also refute this idea. Even looking at the very simple behaviors they studied, researchers found that the automaticity of most behaviors plateaued at some point.
In other words, if even simple behaviors never become fully automatic, this is doubly true of more complex real-world behaviors like exercising, eating healthy or maintaining good relationships. In other words, whatever people do to sustain their behavior long-term, the reality is never so simple as a mindless habit.
This brings me to the second claim: that thirty days is all that’s required to make a habit. Even using the more modest standard of having a behavior reach it’s plateau of automaticity rather than becoming completely effortless, most behaviors required more than a month to feel maximally automatic. In this paper [3], the average was 66 days, and some habits required almost a year.
To be clear, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with committing to less than a year per behavior in order to make a habit stick. But we have to realize that, just as concrete can set within hours yet take months to reach full strength, many habits we set up in an initial burst of focus remain vulnerable to disruption for months afterward.
Finally, even the concept of habits as being all-important for sustaining simple, practical behaviors like exercise is something I’ve grown to question. While it definitely is the case that the automaticity that comes from sticking to an exercise routine helps make it feel easier, sustaining a behavior for years and decades is not primarily a matter of habits. Instead, to make a behavior stick over the long-term, we really need both new skills and changes to our self-concept.
What Really Sustains Good Behaviors
The early picture I had of habits was both overly optimistic and incomplete.
It was overly optimistic, because the real facts about habits are somewhat less compelling. Actual habits for real-world behaviors both take longer to make and rarely become completely automatic.
But in focusing only on habits, I was ignoring two of the real, durable changes that make sticking to behavior changes much easier in the long run.
The first thing we need to do is build skills. Skillful living means you haven’t just learned one solution to a problem, but many possible solutions to many possible variations on the problem.
Take healthy eating as an example. While this can be reduced to a mindless habit—following some strict dietary rules every day—it usually doesn’t become completely effortless. However, as you get better at cooking, grocery shopping and meal planning, eating healthier does get easier, even if it never follows a simple stimulus-response pattern of an automatic habit.
The second thing we must do is change our self-concept. Because so much of our conversation about important behaviors is tangled up with ideas of willpower, virtue, guilt and shame, we often downplay the importance of various behaviors. However, once we start making many of those changes, we no longer have to battle against our own cognitive dissonance, and we very often enthusiastically embrace behaviors we previously rejected.
This helps to explain the tendency of people to preach excessively about changes they’ve recently made. While this may annoy others (I’m sorry!), it stems from the pivot in your beliefs that happens once your behavior matches your knowledge.
Once you see yourself as the kind of person who does X, this self-concept forms much of the motivation to smooth over the residual effort remaining.
A Three-Step Plan to Living Better
Putting all of this together, we have a basic process for making improvements to the foundational aspects of your life:
1. Identify the low-hanging fruit that yield important improvements in your life.
This step is non-trivial. Yes, there are “obvious” behaviors like exercise and eating healthy. But there’s a ton of dubious practices that don’t meet this threshold. There’s also many popular fads that actively contradict decades of careful research about which sorts of actions are best.
Self-experimentation can help. But, since fully testing a behavior can take 10x-1000x longer than simply reading about it, we should be picky about what we choose to work on and start with things that have the most ample base of evidence.
2. Commit to an initial “focused” period of habit-building and experimentation.
The purpose of this phase isn’t to mechanically create a perfectly consistent habit. Rather it’s to use the period of attention to troubleshoot and smooth over the many small obstacles that prevent you from trying it out.
Consistency here helps. But even more important is self-awareness, trying to spot the little patches of friction that will cause a failure once you switch your attention to something else.
3. Make the change stable through a shift in your skills and self-image.
Assuming a behavioral change genuinely makes your life better and you’ve found a way to sustain it without excessive friction or effort, the final step is to solidify it with a shift in your skills and self-image. Much of this is a slow process of solving problems and changing your self-beliefs that occurs naturally as long as you keep up the behavior. But some of this can also occur at an identity level, such as deciding you’re a runner, an investor, a people person or generous.
Not every change you attempt will work through all three steps. Sometimes you’ll finish working on a change only to realize that it’s not as important to you as you had initially believed. In other cases, you’ll still believe it matters, but you’ll fail to find a good design for making it stick in your life.
But, once you’ve implemented enough of these changes, you will reach the third stage where the effect can be quite dramatic. The end result isn’t just better habits, but becoming a better version of yourself.